8.30.01

So I'm feeling like majorly blessed right now... Not only is being obedient to Christ helping me cope with difficult tasks or decisions or even situations, it's thouroughly amazing what you feel when you know you are in God's will. You feel utterly blessed! I have had some pretty tough situations come up into my life recently and I took the steps I felt that God wanted me to take and it seems that everything is working out better then I could have even imagined! Seriously! I've been given what feels like a new life. Not that the old one is gone but everything has changed about it and it has changed for the better. I was struggling with a certain situation and now it seems as though the struggling is not in vain. It seems to be going better then ever! And not only that I'm learning more and more every day! About myself, about God, about everything! Thank YOU God! The only fear is that I want to continue in the steps that God has for me and what's even more amazing is that I have to depend on Him on a daily, hourly, minutely basis so that I know what to do next. It's kind of exciting once you get past all the fear and control of wanting to know what you are doing on a daily basis. I've learned in a lot of ways to just let go and have fun...

Prime example: My brother told me that he's taking me out of town this weekend for my birthday earlier this week. I wasn't sure how I'd feel about it or what other people would think. I feared that they'd think it was foolish or worst something against them. So I fretted over it until the realization that my brother just wanted to bless me. That no matter what people thought he wanted to bless me. And my brother knowing my controlling nature only told me "Charity, all you need to know is that you are going to be busy next weekend!" When I pleaded to know where we were going he was like why do you NEED to know? That actually helped me out a lot. Though at that moment I kind of had a break down for fear of others. So I just had to let it go... I ended up just realizing that he only wanted to bless me. Why did it matter? So eventually I found out that my brother is taking me to Vegas for my birthday! Seriously! I can't wait! I'm excited! I've NEVER been and it's been a place I've wanted to go to on my birthday ever since I turned 21 !!! Now turning 24 I'm finally getting to go! YAY! And you know what? In the long run the people I thought would have a problem seemed to be totally cool with me going! PRAISE GOD! That made this even more special for me! Thank You Lord!

And so if you look back at my last entry you read that I got a check in the mail due to the tax relief thingy... So guess what?!?! I got money for my trip! I can actually go and have fun somewhere for my brithday and not freak that I'm spending money I don't have! Cause this is money I didn't even know I was getting and thus will work towards my birthday present... to myself! In a way I guess. :) But God is awesome! I'm feeling really good about life right now! And I will definitely write how Vegas was!

Oh and I'm doing PartyLite on the side and the last couple shows I've had to do by myself because my sister has been too sick. And so the shows went really good and helped me focus on other things rather then my problems and I made some pretty good money too to top it off! For working 2 nights probably about 6 hours total I made for sure over $100.00!! That's like $16 / $17 an hour for a part time job! :) Kinda nice if you ask me. :) So I feel like I'm being blessed beyond any reason! I don't see why God is blessing me so much and yet I can't stop thanking Him for everything! THANK YOU GOD! YOU RULE!

Catch ya later,

8.29.01

Here it is 8:30 in the morning and I'm staring at a check from the United States Treasury from the new tax relief law! What a wonderful law! I got money that I wasn't even expecting and my birthdays in a few days! Perfect gift! And I get paid in like a day or two on top of that. So I'll be able to pay bills and have some extra for my birthday. Now I'm not sure how good my birthday is going to be. But then again every actual birthday I've ever had was sucky... but then again as soon as I got that theory I started to have better birthdays. Here's the basic theory: Your actual "birth"day sucks, but if you celebrate it another day you may enjoy yourself but in the long run the actual day sucks totally. Ok so since I've felt that way I've noticed that my "birth"days have been ok... Like I actually feel special on that day. Now my thought to this opposite reaction is that creating that theory in my head has allowed me not to expect anything on my actual "birth"day, and when something does happen I'm surprised and feel pretty special. :) So this is my theory of why my theory backfired to begin with... :) But I still allow myself to believe the first theory because if I start to believe otherwise then "birth"days will actually suck again. :) Got it? Good cause now I'm cornfuzzled.

I have some good news! I've been working out for the last three weeks... That's not the good news, though it is good that I'm doing that. :) Well working out that much you'd think that I'd see a little change. But I've been feeling still pretty fat. Then last night I went through to find something to wear and saw the only jeans that were clean were these lighter blue jeans that I haven't worn in a while due to the fact that they got too tight! I couldn't even button them I was so fat. Well I put them on and said a quick prayer that they would at least be able to be buttoned. Well I buttoned and zipped them up!!!!! Now mind you they were still really tight but the fact that I could even button them made my night! I wore them for youthgroup and was like "yay! I can actually say I'm finally seeing results from my working out on an almost daily basis!" So that's the good news. :)

So today I have a busy day. I have work, school, and then I have to deposit some checks for my PartyLite stuff, oh and I have to pay for school. Like ASAP! So no matter how long that line is today I'll have to deal with it. :( ugh! The last time I drove by that line it was halfway around the building outside... UCK! Oh well... you gotta do what you gotta do. So since I know that I should probably get going cause there is a lot to do today and it's already 8:40...

till next time... which might be a new month. :)

8.28.01

Today has already started out lazy. I slept in because I was up late. Now I have a ton of things to do today and I'm not sure how I'm going to fit them all in. I actually have some homework in my Anthropology class. Yesterday was my second lab and I think I can actually handle the class. I'm not afraid to ask questions. Maybe it's because I've taken this teacher before. But I feel more comfortable speaking up. Which is good. We did the Chi-square equation to find out if we had a high probability for our thesis on our experiments. I feel that we're close to not being able to really feel confident that we have estimated correctly. But who knows... I could totally misunderstand. But if I read the chart right we're in the area that allows for too much margin for error. We'd have to do more tests to actually get better results. But it was just a fun starter lab for us to get used to it.

Anyway, I really need to get busy with my day. I know this isn't much of an entry but I've been a little preoccupied at the moment.

Bye

8.20.01

Well today is the first day of school. I feel weird saying that. I'm only taking one class, though I had planned on finishing all the required units but of course VVC only had that one class open for me to take. I could have jammed it into different classes that didn't count towards transferring to a 4 year but what's the point? So I'm taking Physical Anthropology! I can't wait. I mean not only is it a subject that interests me but it counts for my lab so I don't have to take Biology! Praise the Lord! hehehe So today at 12 I'm heading over there. Kind of nervous since it has been over a year and a half since I've been taking classes at the college. I get frustrated but then I realize that I couldn't change that. I would have taken classes every semester but something always got in the way. Either working for Integrity Online or the classes that I needed would be full and or I didn't have enough money to pay for it since I was starting my own business. Well I think that is honestly in order the different reasons I didn't go to school for a year and a half / 3 semesters. We will see...

So I get online and check out the Depeche Mode site... I've been checking every day for updates to see if they have the pictures of the show I went to. And yes they were up Friday but I never got online until this morning. I'm actually kind of surprised about that. Anyways, the pictures were totally rad... I will show the link here. But will actually update my site to include a couple pictures I took on the way there and after the show... I never read the tour diary but I felt I wanted to know what they thought of the crowd and stuff at this show... quote "On the Singles Tour, San Diego was one of the best shows. " WOOHOO! I was at one of Depeche Mode's Best Shows! YEAH! Anyway here is the link for the tour diary but I think in September they'll change that link... I was at the August 11th show. Here are the pics... Click here for the pics!

Anyways it was pretty cool to finally see the pics of the show I was at... :) I'm glad to know they didn't have an after show or anything... Since they had to be in LA.

So I should get back to work... I just wanted to update this thing...

Bye

8.15.01

Today I was getting out of my car and being that I had a lot of stuff in my arms I pulled myself up full force with my legs and miscalculated the car door and slammed my head on the top of the door frame to my car! OUCH! I fell right back into my seat and got up again without realizing the pain that was growing in my head. All of the sudden as I'm about ready to drop everything in my hands the pain hits full force and my eyes start watering and I start to wimper with the pain that was shooting through my head. I didn't realize how hard I had hit my head. I felt foolish and hoped that no one saw me do that. Later, maybe about an hour my head started to really ache! I took some aspirin and everything started to hurt and feel heavy. I decided I needed some peace and quiet and ended up going to my room. For some reason I got emotional and started to cry.... Making my head hurt worse. I'm still not sure what's going on. I felt tired and wanted to sleep but my best friend stopped by and said that I shouldn't sleep just in case I got some form of concution(?sp) So I'm on the computer, my eyes are burning and I sooo want to sleep... My head is throbbing and I feel stupid for all of this... But my mom has prayed for me and I know that I just need to stop thinking about it and God will take the pain away...

So I went to see Depeche Mode Saturday the 11th! Talk about a blast. I feel pretty bad because I planned on taking more time to explain the details of my night before I ended up writing in my "secret domain". But oh well. You'll get the blurry version of it right now. If you want to know more details just email me. :) Hopefully I'll have a whole story written out detail by detail...

Well to start out the day everyone met at my place. :) My sister and brother-in-law and Rachel. We took a couple before pictures and then headed down to Chula Vista! We left at about 12:30 so that we could take our time and spend some time down there relaxing before the show. We got down there and hit the border so we knew we missed our turn... But we were only one street away.. But I couldn't believe how close to the border we actually were! I've never been to Mexico so that kinda tripped me out. :) So we find where the show is and realize we have a full 3 hours to waste even before they let people in! So we drove to find food and ended up getting a Papa Johns pizza and went to a near by park. It was totally cool! I loved having all the time in the world. We got there and saw the t-shirts and I bought mine. :) We stood in line for only about a half an hour and then got to go inside and sit down. We had about a two hour wait and saw a plane overhead with a sign "Claudia will you make me that happiest man on earth and marry me? Jaime" And I was like ohhhhh how romantic! Being proposed to at a Depeche Mode concert! If she was as much of a fan as I am that would have been totally cool and showing that the guy truly cared about me. Some people may think that was stupid, but I didn't think so.

Finally Poe came on and I spent most of the time checking out her hair and realizing that I wanted my hair her length. She could do a bunch of different things with it and it was layered while still being extremely long. So that is now how I want my hair... To my tailbone and layered. :) Then of course we had about a 30 minute wait for Depeche Mode so I went to talk to my sister and see how she was liking the show...

The Coors Amphitheater was awesome! It wasn't too big and we had seats halfway down and had a WAY better view then when I went to see Depeche Mode for the Singles Tour in 1998. So I couldn't wait. And of course I'm not going into detail about every Depeche Mode song but I will say they played a lot of Violator and the new cd and Violator is my absolute favorite album so I was in heaven! I loved it! The show was actually much better then the Singles Tour but then again I think it had to do with the set list this time. I was lovin every song! By the end my voice was hoarse and my legs tired from standing on my chair. :) We drove home listening to Violator and I was totally smiling the entire time. Jeff wanted me to drive part of the way cause he was too tired and I totally didn't mind... I was WIDE awake! So we got home around 3:30am and I got up for church the next morning and was in a surprisingly good mood.

It was definitely a time to remember! :) I'll post the pictures as soon as I can and I'll also give a link to Depeche Mode's pictures of that show. :)

But my head is still aching so I'm gonna go now...

Bye

8.10.01

So I'm sitting here with an hour to wait for my ladies craft night. :) I'm actually looking forward to it. We'll get together and pray and then go on about craftniness! :) I of course have a lot to learn! But my brother has found that these lady craft nights are good for him as well because some of the husbands of these ladies are getting together for network games. :) BOYS! But it should be fun for him. I notice that he is getting out more often and I think that's good for him.

Last night I had the night to myself so I ended up going to work out! I went to the gym from 8:30 - 9:45pm and it felt wonderful! I did cardio for sure! I road the bike for 25 minutes and then this one machine which killed me for another 15 min... I ended up doing some stomach excersizes and it just felt wonderful! So wonderful I decided to go again with my brother around 11:30 and I feel really good about finally doing something! I hope this is something I can get addicted to! I mean what a great addiction, especially with something that will help me get in shape and lose weight. Though going with my brother did kind of depress me because he's in much better shape then me and can handle a whole heck of a lot more. I felt kinda lame next to him... But you know what I realized as I decided not to let it get to me,,, that this is something that I will have to work on and get better at as I'm getting into better shape. I'm trying to figure out how to fit it in to my every day routine now... I was only there about a half an hour today and that's all I need right now for the gym, is to get my cardio for the day. If I have more time then I can do more.

Tonight my friend helped me get my computer back up and running. He was the one who put it together. I haven't seen this computer working for about a year now and tomorrow and Sunday I get to go through all the old files! It'll be totally cool to see things that I haven't seen for so long. I know there are some pictures of a wedding that I took and I'll be adding them to my site for sure! And I know there's gotta be a ton more in other sections! So we will soon see. :)

Alright well I've wasted enough time. I should get going... BYE!

Tomorrow's Depeche Mode! woohoo!!!! I can't wait!

8.09.01

I'm not sure what I did to deserve it but God has been pretty awesome to me these past few days! I have been completely content in my situation and knowing that God would provide for my needs of paying my bills. I already knew that my bills were late and so settled in my heart that they would get paid when I could and I would just have to pay the late fees. My brother walks in my room and says "I think you got more money." And I had no clue how... PartyLite had already paid me for the most recent show that they received. There was no way they got the other shows yet. And I knew if I was getting paid by my clients it wouldn't be directed towards me, but to my business name, Scidco. So I look at the envelope and see that it's my State Tax Return! $208.00!!!!!! It was enough to pay my phone bills and ironically enough I called to find out the late fees to add them to the payments and they showed no late fees put on the account! God is awesome! He not only looks out for me but He knew what He was doing! And in the same day I found out that the clients that owe us money have all put the payments into motion! One that was supposed to pay us I thought never would and basically told us that the check was sent out yesterday!!! Praise God! Seriously! That was a miracle in itself! I had resigned that I would never get paid for that job! :)

Depeche Mode is in a couple days! I'm excited yet feeling like it's not going to happen. It was so long ago it feels like when I bought the tickets that I'm sitting here going, am I really going to go see Depeche Mode? It should be a lot of fun. I'm not sure how close my seats are but it's been fun knowing I'll most likely be closer then the last time! I had nose bleed seats! :)

And because of that money coming in I will actually be able to have some spending money for the trip and maybe to buy a t-shirt or something! God is pretty awesome. I feel unworthy and selfish for how I had no faith... Well maybe I had faith. I kind of just didn't let myself think about all the bills that I had to pay or what bills were coming up. But then there were times when I felt like God had abandoned me. I resented Him for that. I felt like I was going through enough and didn't need money problems on top of that. So sometimes I feel ashamed for thinking that way. I know God has forgiven me for my attitude and blessed me beyond my imagination! Not only is He having all our clients pay us within the next week or so, He's having the one client that I thought would never pay, pay us! Wow!

Oh and on top of that it's 8:44am and I'm up and ready and have been ready for the last 30 minutes! I'm finally not being lazy and waking up late. I feel more productive when I wake up this early. Then I have time to play around a little before work hours. :) I feel really good right now and I have only God to thank for it. He has honestly blessed me and helped me with everything that I have been going through. Anyway, I should get to work...