My Observations

* Disclaimer *

These are my thoughts; though they may be public domain, please have enough respect and understand that they are mine and are not for the use of your own deviant agenda.

Saturday, December 27, 2003

Talk about embarrassing! I went to go see The Return of the King for the 2nd time last night. I was already seated waiting for the others of the group to arrive so I could bring them their ticket. My friend Tony arrived so I went down to give him his ticket. As I walked back into the isle where my seat was I slipped and popped my knee out of place!!!!

I don't remember how loud I really was but I was yelling because of the pain. Sam and Tony were wondering what the heck was wrong. I felt like I yelled that my knee was out of place. I couldn't pop it back in... It was stuck. It hurt like CRAZY! It's the most annoying/painful feeling ever! I finally got to sit down and Sam asked what he could do for me. I again felt like I yelled that he needed to straighten my leg and it would hopefully pop back in because I couldn't straighten my leg myself. He did that and it went back in and I remember just crying and shaking because of the pain. And wanting to crawl into a hole and hide!

That just happened in front of over a hundred people waiting for the movie to start. I felt like EVERYONE was staring at me. One guy was sweet enough to come up and see if he could help them carry me out or something. I just wanted to sit down and hide.... I ironically had just received a packet of kleenex from a promotion they were having for "Monk" on USA network. So I used that to dry my eyes and cover my face.

Sam was awesome though. He tried everything to make me comfortable. Made sure to get me some ice. Made Tony go give everyone else that we were waiting for their tickets. But I wanted to kill Tony when he came back in because as he walked back in at the bottom of the theater he looked up at me and mockingly reenacted me holding my leg screaming. A few people in the crowd looked back at me and smiled. I so wanted to hurt him at that moment. But I was laughing too hard to really worry about what exactly I was going to do to him. ;)

Throughout the movie my leg just throbbed in a dull pain. My muscles were all tight. It felt like really bad growing pains from the knee down. When the movie ended I really did have a hard time walking. I hadn't realized how long it had been since my knee popped out. It's happened maybe 6-8 times in my life but the last one happened a good 3-5 years ago. Either way it was hard to walk down the stairs of the theater. I made sure to wait till most people left the theater to even attempt walking.

When I got down to the lobby I decided to file a complaint about the grease that was on the ground that caused me to slip and humiliate myself. ;) So I told the manager and she gave me 10 free movie passes (I gave one to Tony cause he had to deal with the embarrassment of being with me when it happened, and of course Sam will share them with me since he did most of the work and is usually my movie partner anyways.) and they gave me information to send a letter to corporate and all sorts of stuff. I believe I will write a letter but it's not like this is the first time it's happened. I mean it's not good that they had the grease on the ground, but if I didn't have a bad knee the worst that could have happened is I fell on my butt.

Anyways, today it's still a little tender and tight. But I'll be fine. I'm enjoying my day off. I'm gonna go spend all the gift certificates I got for Lane Bryant for Christmas. :) Big Sales!


Wednesday, December 24, 2003


Monday, December 22, 2003

It's FINALLY over!!!! Last night we did our Candlelight Christmas Service! And it's FINALLY over! I can finally sleep in on Saturdays, get to youthgroup at a decent hour, and get mime movements out of my daily routine. :) My mime girls performed again and they were awesome! Maybe two mistakes TOPS... I was sooo proud of them! I wanted to stand up and scream "yeah that's MY girls!".. But I refrained to their relief. ;) I will be thankful to have my Saturdays back. I haven't been able to sleep-in for almost two months. We're performing again for Easter but we won't have to give up Saturdays till the month before. But I may have to get to youthgroup an hour early though, but I'm not sure. I'm taking a couple weeks off and then we'll see. I will have to post pictures of the mime team.

Now all I have to do is get through Christmas (which shouldn't be too difficult) ;) and enjoy the rest of the year. hehe I'm just glad it's all over. I want sleep though. I need sleep. I am going to enjoy this Christmas. I am finally able to get my family Christmas presents. Though I hate to say I went a little overboard and my creditors won't be too thrilled with me. But I am still happy that I could do it. Well work is getting busy so I should go.

Bye! I'll try to post mime pictures as soon as I can.

Thursday, December 18, 2003

So if you want to see what I'd sound like as a 'gangsta' go to this site and in the field enter this full address it has to be the funniest thing to see. I guess they have a database of words and convert it to snoops lingo. Some guys at work showed me. Though they swear they don't like Snoop but think he's the shiznit. hahahaha

Well Tuesday night I went to see the midnight showing of Return of the King! WOW! Worth every late minute of it! I so have to see it again! I left youthgroup that night and drove down the hill. Luckily Sam was in line earlier in the day so we were first in line! We got great seats! And I always love midnight showings because the diehards come out. Hoopin and holloring was just great. I can't wait till all three come out on DVD. That'll be the best!

Anyways, I went to get bloodwork done for my checkup. Sadly I've never had my blood taken. So It was an odd experience. Kinda trippy to look down and see your blood coming out of you into a tube. But it was fairly painless.

So I'm anxious for Christmas and VERY excited! This is the first year in a while that I will be able to buy Christmas presents. I'm really excited to see what everyone thinks of my ideas. :) Sunday I have our Christmas performance. That will be a relief when it's done. The girls are going to do great though!

Well work is busy. Gotta go


Tuesday, December 09, 2003

Why is it that I depend so much on other people? Not like with every day things, but to be available when I need a listening ear, or to understand that I'm not in the best of moods, etc. Well even then I can't say that I don't have people like that in my life because I do. They accept me as I am, imperfections and all. But sometimes I feel so desperately lonely. This is when I should cry out to God right? Why is it different when you talk to a living breathing human being then someone who is with you during every breath you take? It just is. My heart is sad right now.

I think I'm discouraged. I feel like I have so far to go. I just want someone to like being around me when I don't even like being around myself. I think that's it. And sadly I'm reading this book by Joyce Meyer *my favorite spiritual author* called "How to Succeed at Being Yourself" I mean how obviously sad and pathetic is that? But it's something I need in my life. I'm so far from where I want to be spiritually, emotionally, and especially physically! I'm at the point where I don't want to see anyone that I haven't seen in a while because I've gained so much weight in the last 6 months. I have to defeat this! If I keep on this path then surely I will fail. I almost need some affirmation. But that again should come from God. I shouldn't need someone to tell me that they like me. I should know that Jesus loves me and that's all that should matter. That he loved me so much that he died on the cross for my sins, past and present! Thank you Lord.

Today someone at work said that I was always so smiley and cheerful and was considered the complete opposite of the human Eyore that we have at work. I still don't know how this is. Because deep down inside I am struggling to find out who I am again. I feel that I'm not as sincerely happy. (That's another thing. I've lost my ability to express myself in logical sentences. ;) It's so frustrating when I sit there stuttering and screwing up my words.) I wish for moments of genuine happiness. I realize that it's a dailey battle. And I've succeeded this week in a lot of things. So I guess now I know what this is all about, Ephesians 6:12 "For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms." So then I will not believe lies. But focus on the truths in life.

So I apologize for that venting session. I needed it.

Good night :)

Monday, December 08, 2003

Wow... Sometimes I wonder how we as humans can keep our sanity during the holidays!?! Well lets just say I didn't have a weekend. I hit the ground running both Saturday and Sunday and now I'm sitting at my desk at work feeling like I was just here yesterday. Luckily I'm in a good mood this Monday morning.

Saturday I woke up at 7:00 and had mime practice in the morning and I can finally see it coming together. I can't wait to see what the church thinks of it at the Christmas Candlight Service which will be on December 21st at 7pm. After the practice I needed to find an outfit for my sisters 30th surprise birthday party that night. It was a 70's theme and we were going to do a mystery dinner theater (but that fell through), so my character was 'Share' based on Cher. I bought fake eyelashes, a funky flowered shirt and pink pearls. I'll have to post pictures. It was a lot of fun! We even sang karaoke! Either way it was a busy day/night. My brother-in-law did a good job. It was a progressive dinner that started at 5pm ended up at the church at about 8pm for the final course. He even went as far as to get a disco ball and a bubble machine. hehe I didn't get to bed till 1am.

Then Sunday I went to church, had a meeting regarding our Lesotho trip in March, and got home, ran to walmart (to try to pick up Pirates of the Carribean for Jeff's Birthday gift, it was chaos and they didn't even have it!) I rushed back home, got home just in time to sit at the dinner table with my family (yummy turkey dinner!), and I took a nap, my mom woke me up to run out to the walmart in Apple Valley for Pirates because they wanted to watch it that night. So my brother, sister and I trecked out to the Apple Valley walmart and got home and had the left over fondu from the party the night before and watched the movie and then I crashed... HARD!

And now I'm back to work and have a non-stop schedule for the next few weeks. Well work has gotten too busy to keep writing. I'll try to post those pictures of my sisters b-day party soon.