My Observations

* Disclaimer *

These are my thoughts; though they may be public domain, please have enough respect and understand that they are mine and are not for the use of your own deviant agenda.

Friday, March 17, 2006

Weigh in - 3/17/06

I've lost another 4 pounds, thatís a total of 10 pounds! And I've lost 9 1/2 inches throughout different parts of my body! I've gone down a pant size! I'm wearing my depeche mode t-shirt I bought at their last concert November 2005 that even trying to stretch, wouldn't fit me, and now it does!!!! I seriously did a victory dance this morning! hehe I had to stop myself from whooping because everyone else was still asleep! I'm thrilled! No, I'm ecstatic! This is my third week on the dietÖ THIRD week! I canít wait to lose 10 moreÖ Then I will be smaller then I have been in over 2 years! Thatís my next goal. But for now, I am so happy. I canít stop smiling. I thought for sure maybe a pound or twoÖ But 4! Cool!

This seriously has been an amazing experience. I know that the only reason Iím doing so well is because of the strength of God. I prayed and asked Him to help me overcome my bad eating habits. And suddenly something clicked. Iíve always been afraid of failure. I have failed diets since I was 8 years old. Iím still afraid of failure, losing sight of my goals, and gaining all the weight and then some back. But you know what? God was able to help me take control of my finances. I realized that as out of control as they were I am now debt free as of this payday! And I was only able to do it with Godís strength. He did it, not me. He somehow made extra money come my way, whether it was helping my car stay in working order, or side jobs, or mistakes in my works calculations of vacation time before the bankruptcy. He helped things last longer so I wouldnít have to spend so much money on fixing or replacing things. Satan is the devourer of money. I have been obedient with my finances and seeking Godís wisdom in how to handle them and I truly believe he blessed me because of it. So now I am trying to give my weight and eating habits over to Him. I pray daily that He will give me the strength and focus because Iíve tried for years on my own strength and understanding and have failed. Itís only in Him that I can accomplish losing weight and keeping it off. I have to give thanks to Jesus Christ for getting me this far! I am truly excited and hope that I never forget my focus or that I wonít try to take it on myself. Itís so nice to be able to pray about it, give it over to God and have it work out. I find that itís hard to hand things over to God. Sometimes I think just saying it works, but it doesnít. You have to genuinely body, soul and mind hand whatever it is over to God. I still havenít figured out the trick. All I do is pray that I wonít try to pick it up again and do it on my own.

Thursday, March 16, 2006

Current mood: contemplative
Category: Life

This morning as I was getting ready, my mind wandered to those who have talked bad about my family to others. My mind wasn't filled with resentment (like it has been in the past), but was filled with sadness and disappointment. I wished things didn't end the way they did, that they wouldn't have allowed their offenses to take over. I no longer get angry at their rude comments about my family, I am actually sad for them. I miss them, all of them. I thought about the times I've been hurt and offended, what was the first thing I did? I went and told as many people as I could to feel more at ease with my offense, to feel that more people agreed with my frustration. How can I hold that against them? I have done it. As my mind mulled over the situations, I was wondering what I should do... And it hit me; I am doing what I should do... love them. I wouldn't miss them if I didn't love them. I wouldn't be saddened at their loss if I didn't love them. I wouldn't want the relationship to be restored if I didn't love them. So I leave this message to those that have been offended by either me or my family: I love you guys (though you may have a hard time believing it) and I pray that God will heal the wounds and bring restoration to all involved.

Currently listening:
The Great Escape
By Blur
Release date: By 26 September, 1995

Monday, March 13, 2006

So I've lost enough weight to fit into a size smaller jeans then I originally wore when starting this diet! I'm thrilled! It feels great and helps motivate me into sticking with it.

Right now I'm trying to relax a bit before doing the billing for my brothers company. All day I've been exhausted like I didn't sleep well but I remember thinking how wonderfully comfy my bed was last night... But I've been dragging ALL day. I'm tired of being sick.

And it's official... I will have enough to pay off all my debt this friday! And then on top of that my friend Rachel and I are going to spend the day shopping. First it was about going to IKEA to pick up her bedframe. Now it's about IKEA and Lane Bryant. hehe Rachel got a gift certificate she wants to use. And she says that with the weight loss I should buy myself an outfit as a reward to sticking with it. :) So we'll see. hehe It should be a lot of fun.

Well I gotta get busy... That's all for now.

Currently listening:
Live At Stubbs
By Matisyahu
Release date: By 23 August, 2005

Saturday, March 11, 2006

So I'm at work on a Saturday. (sigh) The joys of going out of town. I was already going to probably come in because I needed to catch up from a long weekend away but because I took Tuesday off I was required to come in and I'm still going to be behind.

I'm definitely sick. After Wednesday my head was completely congested. It's been cold and windy and last night it snowed a lot, well for the high desert anyway. hehe I'm housesitting for my friend Brandie over the weekend. She and her husband went up to Solvang for her birthday and went to go see Hearst Castle. I would really like to make a trip up there some weekend. I was close enough in San Luis Obispo last year when I took the train up the coast but I didn't have enough time to make it over there.

Tonight I'm going out to dinner and the movies with Carlos and Nancy! I haven't hung out with them for a while. I miss them! We're going to see the Libertine. Nancy and I are Johnny Depp fans, and I'm sure Carlos has gotten used to tagging along for many of the Depp movies. hehe

I'm hoping to get some more pictures posted on Sunday. So far it looks like things are going to be fairly hectic this month. It's all fun stuff so I can't really complain.

I feel like my life is getting back on track. I'm doing a lot of things for myself. I'm on a diet that I feel really good about and have lost 6 pounds on. I am working out with my DDR (Dance Dance Revolution). My debt will be paid off next payday! I'm soo excited! I will finally be done with the debt my ex forever ago left me with. I'm feeling better about myself and where my life is heading.

I'm still extremely grateful for my time out in Wisconsin with Sam! It was a blast! And it turns out, as I was talking to Sam today about how perfect the trip was, that we couldn't have timed it any better! He said that everything is melting now and that everywhere he turns he realizes how perfect everything was the weekend I came out. I can't wait to get the pictures up so everyone can see!

Well I've been composing this post for a good few hours in between things here and there at work. I should probably focus.

Friday, March 10, 2006

Weigh In 3/10/06 - I'm really thrilled because I gained a couple pounds back when I went out to Wisconsin to visit Sam, but I lost that and an additional pound on top of that! Yay me!

Thursday, March 09, 2006

So I'm on my lunch break and decided to take a moment to update my blog. :) I have a bit of a cold. I can't figure out what it really is because my left ear really hurts and it runs through my left side of my throat and nose. It really sucks. I sneeze and I feel like my head is going to explode. Not fun...

I came back from Wisconsin Monday night at about 11pm. I got home and situated for bed by 12:30am and I was truly worn out from my travels. So I emailed my supervisor telling him I would not be coming in and would make up the day Saturday.

So my trip to Rhinelander was a blast! I had a great time with Sam as well as my other friends Marc and Jess and their adorable little boy Eli! Sam and I searched for plane tickets that were cheap so I ended up with a lot of stops. On the way there I went from Ontario to Salt Lake City to Indianapolis to Minneapolis finally to Rhinelander! On the way back it was worse! I went from Rhinelander to Minneapolis to Indianapolis to Atlanta finally to Ontario. Pretty much both days there and back took the entire day to get there.

Friday I relaxed since Sam had to work. We ended up meeting up with Marc and Jess for dinner in a place called the Hideaway. Now this place literally was a hideaway! It took a while to be seated but once seated the food was great. We didn't do much more then that.

Saturday we met up with Sam's friend/coworker Dave and his wife Amy to go shooting at the handgun range that Sam has a membership for. I took a few pictures and will post them. Amy was fairly young looking but she was in her early twenties and was pregnant with their 5th kid! I was shocked! But it was cool going to the range and hanging out with Sam's friends. While I was there my friend David Berry called to inform me he had just scored us tickets to see Depeche Mode in Vegas on April 30th! I was totally stoked! Woohoo! I'll be going to see Depeche Mode twice in one tour! YAY! Hehe So after the gun range we drove around so I could get some scenery shots. Sam showed me around his town and all the history that he had learned about his new home. I loved the place. It was great. The weather was cold; in the 20's, but bearable if you were dressed right. I had to buy boots earlier that morning so I was set. There was so much snow but it was beautiful and clear! That night we ordered pizza and hung out and watched movies together.

Me at the gun range -

Sam, Amy and Dave at the gun range -

Sunday Sam drove me out to the other office he works at in Crandon, WI. It was great, a small town with one main street. It was what I pictured Rhinelander being since Sam had made such a big deal about how little his new home was. But I was impressed with Rhinelander. An entire city based on a mythical creature and owes much of itís prosperity to that creature is an interesting place to visit! Check out the history of the Hodag Here. Anyways, the sky was cloudy and it started to snow! I loved taking pictures. I took a TON. Youíll see them eventually. I took over 300, and most of them were scenery shots. We went and bought stuff to make dinner and brought it over to Marc and Jessís. Sam made his famous burritos for us and some of Marc and Jessís friends.

Sam and me

I fell in love with Marc and Jess's house! They actually live in the house of the person who made up the mythical creature the Hodag! They live in the smaller "you're-in-trouble-go-sleep-on-the-couch" house. hehe And they own the barn that comes with it. The barn is three stories and I believe is like 3,000 sq. ft! And it has so much character and history! Marc came out while I was shooting pictures and told me about the basement being rented out to a bottling company. And the cave in the back was where the original owner caught the "Hodag". Then Marc explained all that they wanted to do with the barn, hoping to make the basement spare rooms and the upstairs into a game room with lofts on the upper level for a home theater. Turns out, there is a passage from their house to the main house and the barn, which they used to heat the three buildings before indoor heating. They were closed up when they sold the property separately but Marc and Jess get along with their neighbor and they have all decided that they are going to open up the secret passages and that way when they build the spare rooms they will have a way to walk to the house without having to go outside. I think it's awesome. I can't wait to show you pictures of this place.

Me and the Hodag

Well my lunch break is over. More pictures will be coming soon.

Saturday, March 04, 2006

Weigh in - 3/2/06