My Observations

* Disclaimer *

These are my thoughts; though they may be public domain, please have enough respect and understand that they are mine and are not for the use of your own deviant agenda.

Friday, June 23, 2006

Weigh In - 6/23/06

I lost another 3 pounds! :) For a total of 26 pounds lost! I have no desire to find any of them again! haha

I did it again yesterday... I slept through my alarm! :( I was rather frustrated this time around. I decided that I've got to do something about it. I set two alarms, my cell and my regular alarm clock, for this morning. Amazingly I slept through my cell phone's alarm! But I woke up with my alarm and checked on my cells alarm. So I need to make sure to turn the volume up on my cell and set both from now on. Hopefully that will take care of the problem. I've been wondering if re-adding DDR to my schedule is adding to my exhaustion. So my goal is to be working out by 9pm and in between breaks/games I'll go through the cycles of watering the yard. This should set my bed time as 10pm. Of course last night I didn't actually go to sleep till 10:30 but its better then 11:30pm!

Well thatís all for now.

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

So I'm at work. Not really in the mood to focus at the moment so I'm taking a break. Yesterday was an interesting day. I ended up sleeping through my alarm and didn't actually wake up till 8am! I have no memory of pressing snooze but I know the alarm went off at 4:30 which is what it was set for. I didn't panic, I just got up and got ready and called in on my way down to work to inform my supervisor (who wasn't there). When I got to work I emailed him to let him know I'd have to make up the hours later this week. The day went by sooo fast! I wish I had 7 hour days ALL the time. hehe

I'm now at home waiting for watering to be done. Maybe on the last cycle I will go shave my legs or something. My brother and I have adapted to being roommates rather quickly. So far... so good. Give me a few months and that might change hah! But we just finished watching "Garden State" for the first time. I bought it on the recommendation of Drew (yes Drew you are specifically being blamed... er.. I mean being credited! haha just teasing. ;) It actually was a good movie! Even Brian liked it hehe).

I've started DDR (Dance Dance Revolution) again. I skipped tonight because I realized I needed a night to relax. I have been feeling overwhelmed, at work and at home. Also now I can't take or make personal calls at work anymore I feel like my precious drive to and from work is being eaten up with calls to figure this or that out. I mean I didn't do that many calls but it seems that they came in handy now and then so I didn't feel so pressured later. If I thought of something I could just make the quick call right then. But oh well, I guess I was spoiled with that before.

The decision is not yet made but I have been feeling the need to dress up at work. Not that I'm getting and slack for the t-shirt and jeans I do wear... But I feel like that saying that says "dress for the job you want and not the job you've got" really is starting to hit home with me. I don't feel very professional because I'm not taking on the role of a professional. So at some point in the near future I plan on investing in a few dress slacks and some tops. We'll see how long it takes for it to actually happen though.

Also I went to Arrowhead Credit Union to check out the auto loans information. I got my last auto loan through them so I was thinking of going back. But their interest rate is 7.49% on a 6 year loan. Anyone have any suggestions? I am looking to buy the new 2006 Honda Civic LX or EX (I think I can only afford the LX)... It's a fairly cheap car that I'm in love with. So any suggestions might be appreciated. I've been asking a lot of people. And Sam has definitely set a list of guidelines that I have to follow before he'll let me buy the car! haha! :) At this point I think I've got it all dialed in. I just need to know if there is a good place to go for auto loans.

Well I have a pretty bad headache so I'm gonna go get ready for bed.


Saturday, June 17, 2006

Man... I'm really missing Jesse. Listening to this song (words below) and suddenly my heart aches cause he's gone.

Fading - by Headley Grange

There's something in the air tonight
That makes the smiles fade away
Take one more picture for tonight
And I'll be headed on my way

Ride through the night
And into the day
It don't seem right
Iím on my way

If I could only follow you
We'd walk along the streets of gold
Instead I'm caught with in the pain
Of knowing it's your time to go

I cried through the night
I cried through the day
It donít seem right
Youíre on your way

All our headlights are fading
Nothing to guide us but the moon
All our lives are slowly dimming
Did yours have to fade so soon?

Words: Mancha
Music: Kauffman, Mancha
© 2004 forth coming day music publishing (BMI)

Click Here to Listen to "Fading"

Friday, June 16, 2006

Thank God for Fridays! I canít tell which I like better, Fridays or SaturdaysÖ Fridays I feel like I have the WHOLE weekend ahead of me. Saturdays I wake up refreshed (usually) and know that I have the full day ahead of me and DONíT have to go to work... (usually)! ;)

So Wednesday was a horrendous morning for me. I wanted to put a big sign on my desk that said ďKEEP AWAY Ė MAY LOSE AN EYE (OR 2) IF YOU GET TOO CLOSEĒ! I was in such a foul mood. I couldnít shake it for the life of me. I knew I was unreasonable to those who actually had contact with me. I wanted to hurt everyone on the road, I even imagined feeling the crunch of my car while it impacted the person on the road I was pissed off at. I wanted to reach behind the starbucks counter and strangle the kid telling me there were no more blueberry muffins when I got in line there were three and only 1 person in front of me!! I went off on poor Sam but luckily had warned him before hand that I was in attack mode so he took it in stride. All of it was so unnatural I was actually kind of scared. I called my mom and asked for prayer. From that point on I just kept my mouth shut and when I got to work, and actually debated whether or not to make that sign for my desk, and decided to just warn everyone that I wasnít doing so hot. Sam and I came to the conclusion that it must be something in my system. I had just started the detox pills again like 3 days earlier and I donít remember it having this affect on me but it was the only logical explanation. So Sam prescribed that I drink a TON of water and to stop taking the detox pills and seriously after about 96 oz of water I really did feel a lot better! Hehe Itís all rather comical now but at the time it wasnít good at all!

And now I totally know why itís taken me so long to post any pictures! I was going through my pictures to get ready to do a mass upload and found that I have events from December 2005 still waiting to be posted! But it turns out that the event in December is the office Christmas party at the Adamís Kart Track and I took a TON of pictures and I didnít feel for some strange reason that I could skip it and go backÖ Oh well. So this weekend Iím gonna continue to work towards getting them ready to post. There are so many events it might be a while. Eventually I plan on getting an online photo-album that will take the pictures I upload and automatically categorize and organize my album into thumbnails and originals etc. That will save a TON of time. But who knows how long that will be.

Well itís taken me all day to write this post as I have done it here and there throughout my day at work and itís been a crazy hectic Friday! But those can be fun because it makes the day go by faster. So hopefully by Sunday I will have enough pics to post!

Thursday, June 08, 2006

Today is a rough day. Jesse flies right into my face in everything that I touch, say, hear or think. I have found that getting settled in to my new place has been a welcomed distraction to dealing with my grief. There are times I am ok. There are times I'm not ok. This morning... I'm not ok. The last couple of days I've been hearing a lot about Jesse and I keep wishing he was still here so I could talk to him. *sigh*

It probably doesn't help that I've been running around like a chicken with its head cut off and going to bed WAY past my bedtime and waking up early. After a while your body and emotions just can't take it any more. I haven't been taking any time for my devotions with God. And I know I need to. I need to make the time and not just try to because it will help.

So... I have no internet at the house as of yesterday. I was in between the dsl we had hooked up to my parent's line (which they took when they moved) and the cable which was supposed to be installed Saturday but is getting installed today... hopefully.

Today my brother saw the place for the first time since I have been setting stuff up. I asked how he liked it and if it was too girly for him. He says it's alright, but doesn't like the throw pillows for the couches. If that's all he's complaining about I've done a good job! Hehe He is at the house waiting for the cable to get installed and he brought a few things from his place. I guess he won't be up here for another week or so.

I have decided to have a BBQ to unveil my new place but I know it will have to be a couple of months down the road. And in a couple of months it'll be my birthday. So I've decided to throw myself a BBQ/Birthday Party in early September (more details to come). This way it'll give me a goal to strive for and give me enough time to get my place together.

I finally bought myself a scale. I took my mom's scale home with me to get an idea of the difference (because every scale is different) and it looks like my new scale says I'm 5 pounds heavier then my moms scale does. I haven't been focusing on my weight. I know I've gained a little weight, but I will give myself a week to get back on track and then weigh in.

Well I am at work and should get back. But I will leave you with a lighthearted image of my time with my cousins at Universal Studios (one the Jurassic Park Ride.

Top Row:
Brian (brother), Bailey (nephew), ME!, Kenny (married to Kerry), Kerry (cousin)

Bottom Row:
Heidi (sister), Megan (neice), Clint (cousin, the one that makes me LOL!), Joey (cousin), Nate (married to Joey)