My Observations

* Disclaimer *

These are my thoughts; though they may be public domain, please have enough respect and understand that they are mine and are not for the use of your own deviant agenda.

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

*Written 10/27/07*

The other day I was listening to my iPod as I took my lunch walk and it happened to play a U2 song and I realized I wanted to bring out my U2 collection again. Hehe So right now Iím listening to a shuffled playlist of the entire U2 collection that came on my special addition iPod.

Iím wide awake! I took a 2 hour nap after hanging out with Rach. Now Iím regretting it as I couldnít go to sleep even if I wanted to! I got to bed at about 2 this morning and got up at 8 to meet up with my sister to pick out a color closer to my natural color for my hair, who knows when Iíll be able to meet up with her to get my hair done though. She got a job at Starbucks! Anyways, after that I met up with Rach and we went out to lunch and spent the day hanging out. I got home at around 4 and slept till 6 and then watched a couple movies with my brother. Itís been a fairly lazy day.

Jeff Dunham - Last night was a blast! Jeff Dunham was awesome! I will definitely go see him again whenever heís in town! As usual I laughed so hard I cried! He totally rocks! And he even recorded some clips for his Walter for President Campaign. He finished the show and got changed into a secret service outfit and well he looked pretty darn Ho-T! hehe He said he was going to have the clips on youtube so when they show up Iíll make sure to post them since I was apart of it! ;) It was a great show. He did a lot of the stuff off the DVDís but there was some pretty funny new material. He had Walter, Achmed, Peanut and JalapeŮo on a Stick of course. He even did an encore and brought out Bubba J from his previous dvd release. It was funny because everyone knew the lines and would say them right along with him. I donít think he realized what a big hit Bubba J was, he couldnít stop laughing that we were following along, even said we were gonna make him cry. hehe I was sooo glad I went.

I didnít take my camera because it said we werenít allowed but people were taking pictures so I was pretty disappointed yet again that I didnít just take it with me and deal with the consequences later. Luckily we had been talking with a young couple sitting next to us (it was their 1st wedding anniversary today! Congrats guys!) and they brought their camera and said theyíd share their pics with me! We exchanged our myspace addresses and I now have some new friends!

The above was written on Saturday night. I got sucked into a chat with Russ so I never got it posted. Russ and I stayed up WAY too late chatting; I think it was 4am before I went to sleep! Bad Russ! ;)

Alliance Halloween Potluck - I'm feeling pretty nostalgic at the moment. As I'm typing I keep seeing my black nails out of the corner of my eye. That and the cluster of black and purple rubber bracelets on my wrist bring me back to my wannabe-goth days. I was going to be goth for the work Halloween potluck but went with a witch outfit instead. Once the potluck was done I changed into jeans and a tshirt. I feel like I stepped back in time to 10 years ago! hehe Kind of trippy.

So the potluck was actually a lot of fun! Weíve had others but this one just seemed to have a good vibe to it. Maybe the concept of actually having to dress up made it a bit more interesting for everyone involved. The food was yummy! And we had some great costumes.

I of course took pics and am going to do my very best to get into the habit of updating my album rather then posting a few pictures on my blog. I am almost done updating my album, which currently only has pictures up to April of this year! Iíve had to upload bits and pieces in the evenings as not to interfere with my roommates World of Warcraft experience. Hehe Either way, back to the reason Iím trying to avoid posting pictures to my blog rather then in my album. 1. It then becomes a two step process. 2. Because Iíve posted the most important pictures to my blog I donít feel as interested in making an effort to upload to my album. This way Iíll blog and then link to the pictures on my album. Weíll see how this works out.

Well it's time for me to pack up and head home!


Saturday, October 27, 2007

What a week! Especially with the fires, the wind and the pass being closed down Monday... I'm at work. Last week it was dead and a couple of days I've felt pulled in a few different directions at once. And today is unusually busy for a Friday. We must be doing well because I've been doing training more often then not and training is required for all new merchants. I really do enjoy training our merchants.

Monday 10/22/07 - The fires have been causing a lot of problems in Southern California. Well Monday was the day that impacted me the most. The 15 was closed down. And with all the other fires in the area there was no back route. My friend Sasha was a godsend. She contacted me when she found out the pass was closed and offered to have me stay in her spare room for the evening. I was NOT happy about having to stay down the hill but really the reason wasn't that I wouldnít be sleeping in my own bed, it was that I had absolutely NO overnight bag. I had to go buy everything I needed! Financially Iíve been strapped, even with the raise itís going to take some time to get back on track with my budget. But since I do commute I've been meaning to get an overnight bag just for this reason so now I have an overnight bag in my trunk. hehe I was so grateful to Sasha for opening up her place for me. It meant a lot to me and I felt truly blessed to have such a good friend in her. Even if I was ticked about having to spend money I didnít have on all the necessities.

Tuesday 10/23/07 Pampered Chef Party - Tuesday night I hosted a Pampered Chef party and it went well! I was expecting about 15-20 people and 16 showed. My friend ended up buying a bunch of things since a lot of the stuff he had in storage rusted so I had an AWESOME show because of him! I will get about $250.00 in free product! I'm looking forward to shopping. I'm closing my party next week so I haven't made my final selections. :) I'm not much of a cook but I think I'd like to start. It's always more fun if you have fun tools!

Friday 10/26/07 Jeff Dunham - So tonight I'm driving down to Long Beach with Andie to go see Jefahfah Dun-Ham dot com! :D If you don't get that well you would have had to have seen the last Comedy Central Special. Either way I'm really looking forward to it!

*Itís now Saturday, work got hectic and I never had a chance to post it so here it is now. Iíll update this post with pics from the Pampered Chef Party soon. Oh and I didnít get any pics of Jeff Dunham but I met a cool young couple that are going to send me pics! I might post a couple of those too.*


Saturday, October 20, 2007

I haven't been this thankful it's Friday in a LONG time! I have a quiet weekend ahead of me and I'm sooo looking forward to it. This week has been more mellow then most, in fact it's been almost boring! Work has been dead all week.

So dead that I didn't even finish the post at work but watched Transformers instead! ;) hehe Yup that's right, we setup a pc so we could all watch it (we being the girls in support), obviously taking calls as they came in.

It's Saturday and I'm delaying the inevitable... I MUST clean my bathroom and bedroom! I spent the morning hanging out with my friend Andie. She's been talking about this guy she's crushing on at work and I wanted to meet the guy so we made up a reason for us to stop by her work. hehe And no, we're not still in high school! And yes, we realize this. :) When it comes to best friends' crushes you revert back to high school methods! haha

One thing I've realized in talking to Andie about our fun experiences flirting is that Andie seems to get men to express their attraction! I, on the other hand, seem to flirt with men who don't express their attraction to me at least not overtly. There are signs but nothing is said. So what's up with that? Seriously guys, do I put off a vibe that says please don't let me know that you find me attractive?! Or is it that men are just as insecure in expressing their attraction? I know I'm attractive, though sometimes I wonder if men can actually look past my weight. I grew up feeling that men couldn't. I finally accepted myself for who I am but there are times I still struggle thinking men aren't all that shallow. (Though, I also wonder if I have been given compliments and havenít really acknowledged them. HmmÖ possible) I think a long time ago, when I was in 6th grade, the boy I was seriously crushing on (and had been crushing on since 2nd grade!) read my journal and found out I liked him. I was so embarrassed but went straight up to him and said ďok so I think youíre cuteÖ Iím ok with you knowing this.Ē And suddenly I wasnít feeling like I was going to die, and the stark fear went away. Nothing happened either. Since then Iím ok being pretty blunt with the guys I like about my attraction to them without expecting my declaration should require action on their part. I have found it eases the awkwardness of it all (at least for me, and with the men I have shared with, they continued to be in my life). I mean telling someone ďhey, I think youíre cute, sexy, attractive (insert chosen compliment here)Ē is quite harmless. It makes the other person feel good, and it doesnít mean youíre stuck doing something about it. At least thatís how I look at it. I read my friend Joeís blog and he replies to this one particular readerís comments with regular compliments. And I think of how cool it is that he expresses it for the world to read and how awesome it must be for her to read them! I have no idea if anything has ever happened between them and it doesnít matter. I say keep it up! hehe There are a lot of thoughts going on in my head about this topic and Iím not sure if Iím expressing myself adequately. Iím not sure that I care. Itís just something I wanted to ask the people out there that read my blog. And if, in all this rambling, youíve lost the question let me rephrase it. What do you think causes men (or women) to express their attraction with the opposite sex or not?

Well I really need to stop avoiding the inevitable and go clean.


Monday, October 15, 2007

This weekend was rather busy. I went to an Ancient Paths Seminar and I'm not sure I'm quite ready to share all that went along with that. A few tears and a bit emotionally draining, but all-in-all a good thing. I came to realize a lot about myself which is always a positive thing! The seminar was Thursday and Friday evening and all day Saturday.

Sunday I expected to relax a bit, I took a nap after church and that was about the extent of my relaxation! Brian had Foe and Strav over to practice some new songs for Poet Sky. I enjoy hearing them play so that wasn't a big deal. I was in my room working on my photo album for my website when my friend Jerry called and we started talking about some of the things for his project. My sister stopped by with the kids and they wanted to play Dance Dance Revolution in my room while the boys were in the living room jammin. You can imagine the commotion! Finally everyone had left by about 7:00.

I thought that was going to be my opportunity to relax but then my friend Sandeep called and in a whirlwind of events I ended up on the freeway down to the 138 to pick him and his girlfriend up and take them down to the Ontario airport because his car broke down. He had 24 hour road side assistence through BMW but it didn't include him! Needless to say he was pretty upset and in quite the bind. He had to get his girlfriend home to Riverside and get back up to Fresno by 2am to get his dad to the airport and the only 24 hour rental was at the Ontario airport! I was glad I could help. Traffic sucked just cause it was sunday evening and everyone was driving back down from their weekend trip to Vegas. I enjoyed catching up with him though. It's been a while since we've seen eachother. He surprised me a while ago and stopped by Alliance to say hi which was cool. His girlfriend was an absolute sweety and in the end we considered each other friends as well! I waited for him to get his car rental situated before heading back home. Mike at work had told me today that the 5 freeway was all jacked up last night so I called and found out that yes, he did get delayed with traffic but everything worked out in the end.

So today I tried to get back into a routine. So far so good. Work was great! I was in a fun mood and things went smoothly. I was busy for the first half of the day which is always nice to make the day go by. After work I went tanning, took some time to meditate on God, then decided to get back onto my Dance Dance Revolution pad and have a fun little workout before bed. :) Here it is almost 10:30 and I'm finishing up a chat with my friend Armondo and I'll be in bed at a reasonable hour. I feel good.


Saturday, October 13, 2007

Bright Eyes 9/29/07 - So I'm listening to a random selection of their songs as I'm composing this and catching up on laundry for the week. My brother Brian and I had a great time at the show at the Hollywood Bowl. Having the LA Philharmonic Orchestra performing with them was a pretty cool experience. We had awesome seats and it's a great venue, that was my first time there. Scarlett Johansson was sitting a few seats away from us. When I saw her I immediately looked around for my brother who had gone off to get a drink. She was just as pretty in person. Surprisingly when Brian found out she was so close he was like, sure enough, thatís her. But after the show he admitted that if she wasnít ďScarlett JohanssonĒ then he wasnít sure if heíd give her a second look because there were so many other hot chicks there. Haha Gotta love my brother. Anyways, I really enjoyed hearing them live. I know the lead singer is an acquired taste but you can't deny his ability to express through words. I'm gonna have to say they are one of my favorite bands at the moment.

So here are a couple pics and I'm attempting to upload more then just this one video... blogger couldn't upload the other 2 files because it was too big so I'm testing out Google Video, if it works I'll post them.

Big Bear 10/8/07 - Monday I had the day off so I took a drive up to Big Bear and back... I needed to get away by myself and it's a beautiful drive so I packed a picnic lunch and my cameras and took off. It was absolutely gorgeous up there! Here are some of the pictures I took throughout the day...

Random Thoughts - I was chatting with my friend Tracy. He was lamenting about being out on the dating scene again. I told him I have had a lot of guys interested in making a go of something in the last year but they never keep my interest very long. And the guys I find myself attracted to are either older or set in their ways = not interested enough to make any effort, or even worse they are married. Then it hit me, maybe I donít want a relationship if I'm only finding myself drawn to unavailable men. They are the safe ones because I know it will never go anywhere and I'm not likely to get hurt. Hmmm.... Interesting...

But speaking of being drawn to someone I discovered something rather amusing. I have recently gotten to know this guy that intrigues me more then I would have ever expected him to. I say 'recently gotten to know' because I met this guy last year but didn't really get a chance to talk to him much. As things go, circumstances can bring you closer to an individual, even if itís only to get to know a couple more details about them. So that being said, anyone that knows my taste in guys knows I like Ďem to have a bit of "geek" to them. Not sure what it is, but a guy who knows his way around a computer, well that just gets me all excited. ;) (Please note the slight sarcasm in the excitement) Either way, this individual has some geek to him. Now also be aware there is a BIG difference between geek and nerd. hehe (refer to "White and Nerdy" video by Weird Al) But he also has tattoos; Interesting combination. Not sure why this intrigues me so much. I drove home Friday I realized that I was drawn to this guy. I laughed when I realized it started when I saw he had tattoos! WTF?! haha Then it hit me! He represents both sides of the spectrum of my two long term serious relationships. Jesse, the "bad boy", full sleeves, kids, ex-wife and played drums in a hardcore band. Then Sam, the "geek", computer guru, total sweetheart and my first true love. I'm guessing that's why I'm drawn to this guy. Not necessarily in the desire to have a relationship with him, but just would love to get to know him better. But knowing he fits both of my "types" I think I'll let it be. :)

Grandparents 10/10/07 - So Wednesday night I drove down to Westlake Village with my family to have dinner with my grandparents who are visiting from Minnesota and staying with my cousin. (Sadly I never really get to see my cousin, we've never been that close.) Either way they flew my grandparents out so they could see her new baby. Well last night was the only night we could all meet up with them because the rest of their visit is planned out. My mom, brother, sister and her kids met my dad and I in Ontario and my brother and I took my car out there and the rest of the family drove in my sisters car. I haven't seen my grandparents for at least 8 years! We met at Claim Jumpers for dinner. Here are some pics from the night. I actually let my nephew, Bailey play with my camera and he got some great pics!

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Friday, October 05, 2007

I'm so zoned I'm not sure if I can focus enough to compose this post. But I'm trying to fight falling asleep. I'm at work and it's dead! It seems that early in the week I feel more productive and busy. I think that's because I'm going back and forth between accounting and support.

I went through and gave away a lot of the clothes that I don't fit into anymore and realized I still had a lot of nice clothes that I never touch. So since then I've been dressing up for work. Even wearing heels! For those of you that know me this is a big deal. hehe

Last night I went to dinner with my friend Jerry. He and I always have a good time. He has a lot of aspirations and dreams, it was very inspiring listening to how his brain works through it all. I wish I was as all encompassing with my thoughts as he is with his. He has some great ideas and right now he's picked one of his ideas and he's going to make a go of it. He feels with his age it's now or never. He's only 45 but I understand where he's coming from. I can't imagine it *not* succeeding! I'll probably be promoting it here. I've worked with him on some aspects, such as web site and bouncing ideas around for the last couple months, but it's still in the early stages. He has to finish up some other business so he's only doing his new project on the weekends. Either way, its amazing how multi-facetted his dreams are. I sent him a text on the way home thanking him for inspiring me to dream!

Well I'll go into more of what we talked about and how thats impacted my own personal dreams later. It's quittin time and I've got to make a run to Bath & Body Works... They are having a big sale this weekend that I can't pass up! :) I know... so girlie huh!? ;)

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