My Observations

* Disclaimer *

These are my thoughts; though they may be public domain, please have enough respect and understand that they are mine and are not for the use of your own deviant agenda.

Thursday, November 22, 2007

*11.30.07 - Well this was meant to be more of a post but I figured I'd still post it... I'm hoping to get a full post by the end of the weekend but we'll have to wait and see.*

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

I'm layin on my cousin Clint's bed using his laptop. It's been an awesome day! I love my family and all the craziness and chaos there is when we get together. Good times! And of course I've already taken a bunch of pics. The drive up wasn't so smooth but we made it here safely. The started the drive from California to Colorado later then we had hoped and the weather took a turn for the worse on the last leg of the trip! It was horrible! We couldn't see more then a few feet in front of us because it was snowing so hard and the roads were so slick that we couldn't go more then 15-20 mph. Not fun. Brian of course was driving and was exhausted but wouldn't even let Heidi or I think of taking over in those conditions... It was tense for a couple of hours. We finally got to my cousin Joey's place at a little before 2am!

Thursday, November 15, 2007

For the last day or two I've been in a really happy mood. Yes, I have concerns about the financial strain this trip to Montana is going to be, but all-in-all I'm looking at it as an adventure and a way to see God move on behalf of my finances! At church Sunday my dad talked about how we need to rejoice in difficult circumstances because it means we can see God work on our behalf. That statement struck me and I have thought about it a lot this week. I know it's important that I make this trip to Montana, it's one of those things that you just know you *have* to do, you don't necessarily have a choice. I have to take two days off without pay. I have no more vacation time (Fiji took the bulk of it). And I did get a raise a short time ago but I haven't leveled out yet and itís been a difficult couple of months financially.

We're estimating my portion of the cost in gas for this trip to be 250.00, by far cheaper then a plane ticket but still a hard amount to swallow. I've looked at my bills, it's doable with pushing off a bill or two but I wouldn't have money when I'm out there or for the time on the road. I decided to practice what my dad preached Sunday. I put it out there and just said, "Lord, you know my financial situation, I'm looking forward to seeing you work on my behalf! I'm going to trust you to help me with the finances for the $250.00."

That night my brother Brian called and asked if I could do a job for one of his clients, updating basic information on their website. When I asked him how much he said, about $250.00... !!!! Holy cow! It works! :D I shouldn't be surprised but I always am! Now if I can just keep this mentality for all areas of my life. Why is it so difficult to know God is there for me ALL the time if I just trust in Him?

My Week - I thought this week was going to be mellow but it turned out to be rather busy! I've been trying to help Jerry as much as I can with a new project he's working on. We've talked a lot and he dropped off a cd then he had to pick it right back up again later. Its stuff he wants added to his website that I've been helping him setup. I'm excited for him! It's cool to see it all come together. I know I said I'd be promoting it here but it's not ready just yet. Also Jason has asked me to work on some graphics for him and I've not been able to work on those. I promised him today that I will sit down with them Saturday. Joshua at work has been encouraging me to put myself back into the graphic industry. He seems to think I have some talent which is always nice to hear. And it seems that someone upstairs is opening the doors to do more with graphics.

I was asked out to dinner Tuesday night. I had a good time. I've known him for a while but we've never gotten together till that night. Looks like we'll get together again too... Wednesday was mid week service. Thursday (today) I am driving down to Irvine after work for my laser appointment and will make a detour to the beach. Friday night I have a birthday party to go to. I'm really looking forward to it. Itís with a bunch of women that I absolutely adore and I've been told we're having a karaoke machine with all Depeche Mode songs! Should be a blast! I plan on taking my camera so you'll be getting to see the fun.

Well Iím outÖ

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Monday, November 12, 2007

So my extended weekend came and went. Iím sitting at my cluttered desk. I am doing some laundry, did some dishes, and have taken the earlier part of the day easy. Brian and I went to see American Gangster down at Victoria Gardens earlier this afternoon. Itís a decent movie, pretty stinkin long though! My friend Jerry didnít think Denzel played a convincing gangster, I thought he did alright. I should be cleaning my desk and working on some graphics for Jason. Maybe Iíll get to it later tonight. It feels much later then it actually is.

Drive to Montana - Right now my brother Shawn is chatting with me about our trip to Montana. Turns out he and his family are driving up from Texas to Colorado Saturday, spending the night at my cousin Joeyís and then making the rest of the trip up to Montana. I canít afford to take any more time off work then I already am. This means I canít leave till Monday night after work! So I think Iíve mentioned that Iím going to be driving up to Montana with Brian, Heidi and her two kids. We did this back in November 2005 and it was not easy. But itís my grandpaís 90th birthday and the flights were just too expensive. It was originally going to be just Brian and me but Heidi was able to make it and to our surprise the kids are coming too! Iím excited she and the kids can come but it does make the plans a little more complicated. Either way, Shawn originally wanted us to drive through Colorado and meet up with him and weíd all caravan. But now that heís going up earlier weíre trying to calculate what the best route is. If we donít go to Colorado Brian is saying we have to make the full trip without stops. Iím trying to convince him to still meet up with Joey in Colorado and finish up the rest of the trip together. Joey wants me to keep her company on the drive from Colorado to Montana (her husband Nate will have to fly out Friday after thanksgiving). My niece and I could go with Joey and that would leave more room in my brotherís truck. Itís a thought. And Iím pretty sure I have Brian convinced that the extra tank of gas is worth it to be able to stop and sleep.

Iíve also found out that they are planning a family portraitÖ A HUGE family portrait since weíre ALL going to be there! This is the first time my entire family, including my brother and his family are going to be in Montana at the same time! Actually the first time weíll all have been together since the family picture we took on Easter 2005 in California! Iím excited. Also my cousin Joey asked me to join her in volunteering at a soup kitchen in Billings, MT. Thanksgiving morning. Yup, the drive is going to suck no matter what and I just need to accept that. But the trip itself should be good. I canít believe itís only a week away!

PMS sucks! (Pardon the topic male readers) - I realized the emotional rollercoaster I went through Tuesday was the precursor to the dreaded "monthly bill". The rest of my week went fairly well. No major complaints. What I dislike is the emotional instability during a period. Most of the time I donít feel as hormonally challenged as I have this month. I feel bad for women that experience the emotional stuff this bad every month!

Last week Ė I had a busy week last week. This week should be mellow. We all know my Tuesday sucked. Wednesday was the complete opposite. After work I went to mid-week service.

Thursday I went to dinner with Jerry. We talk on the phone a lot but our schedules rarely allow for us to hang out for very long. Last Sunday I was supposed to go down there and hang out, go to the movies or something, but I misunderstood the plans and we had to reschedule for a weeknight which never leaves for much time to hang out since we both commute. But oh well. We always figure something out.

Friday I went over to David and Erinís to have pizza and watch Ratatouille. It worked out great because I was able to catch up with them and skip the holiday weekend traffic!

Saturday I slept in, watched tv all day! My Pampered Chef stuff came so I went through and put everyoneís orders together and washed all my stuff so I could use it! Mike came home with Jerret from unloading his storage unit and putting his stuff in our garage. He and Heidi were celebrating their 1 year anniversary and he was running late so I told him Iíd take Jerret home so he could go take a shower and take Heidi out. Apparently this won me some brownie points with Mike. Hehe Jerret ended up keeping me company while I baked cookies for a church meeting the next day. We had a good talk. Iíve pretty much adopted him as my little brother.

Sunday was a full day of church. I went to church in the morning and we had a meeting at my parentís place at 3 and I didnít leave there till 7.

My Dadís book - I have my dadís book! It looks great! I havenít finished reading it. This is the first edition. He signed it for me, wrote a little dedication too. There are only about 100 printed so far. He has some minor technical errors he wanted to fix and then the publishers will send it in for a reprint which at that point it will then be available at Barnes & Noble and Amazon in time for Christmas orders! Iím excited for him and so very proud of him!

New Hair Ė I got my hair redone last week. I loved my hair the day my sister did it. She styled it and everyone that has seen the picture of it just loves it! I also have a picture of how itís usually styled. Itís definitely darker but itís more my natural color. So far Iíve had only positive reactions to it, accept for my mom. She says sheís so used to my blond hair itís taking her a while to get used to it. Itís not that she doesnít like it. I really like it!

Link to Alliance Halloween Potluck Pictures

Link to Poet Sky's Reformation. Basically pictures of them practicing at my place on Sunday afternoons. :)

For those of you that have seen a lot of the pictures posted to my blog, well those were the few from many and now ALL the pictures of those events have been posted to my online Album. I haven't updated my album since Easter of this year. So there are a lot of new pictures. Go check them outÖ My 2007 Album

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Wednesday, November 07, 2007

Night & Day Ė

Night - So yesterday was a miserable day. Yesterday I felt like the world and everyone in it was against me. Oh believe me I was that melodramatic! I was extremely insecure. I was angry and frustrated. Almost everything pushed me over the edge. I knew something was wrong first thing in the morning and even prayed that God would protect me from flying off the handle at innocent bystanders. I just had my hair done by my sister and I was still learning how to style it, as well as getting used to the fact that itís so dark, and it just wasnít working for me that morning. I was feeling unattractive all around. I got to work and was really sick, literally! To the point that I was weak and had to sit because I was dizzy, lightheaded and sweating! Yeah not sure what was going on. I was cautious all morning and my stomach started to settle down after I ate a bagel. My day at work actually went smoothly. No major issues. It was on my ride home. I was talking to a friend. Iím sure she didnít mean to, but something she said cut deep, it fed all the insecurities Iíd been fighting all day and I lost it, not on the phone with her, but after. The flood of emotions I had been fighting came boiling over. Frustrations with her, a couple guys (one that Iíve known for years, another that Iíve just recently gotten to know) and my own annoying tendencies came crashing in on me. No matter where I tried to run my mind was whirling through all the events, and with my outlook I was only seeing the worst in each situation.

It was when I was talking to another friend that I finally broke down emotionally and started sharing how insecure and pathetic I felt and realized I needed some quiet time with God. The moment I sat down to write in my prayer journal the tears flowed. They kept flowing on and off for the next half an hour. I felt like I was wrapped up in His arms and He was allowing me to express the fears and frustrations while He listened and comforted me. I couldnít wait to go to bed and start a new day.

Day - Today has been quite the opposite! I woke up and my hair turned out great. I love it! I wore an outfit I wasnít too sure Iíd feel good in but ended up feeling sexy. I was no longer sick to my stomach. I went into training for the account department and came back to find a package on my desk from a merchant I work with on almost a daily basis. As soon as I felt the package I knew she had sent me chocolates! And sure enough she sent me Seeís chocolates and a ďThank YouĒ card to show her appreciation of how friendly and helpful Iíve been to her whenever she calls in. She has my direct line memorized. Hehe I felt very special! On my lunch break I took a walk around the complex and it was just a beautiful day so I stopped to eat my lean pocket on the grass under the trees. When I walked back I saw a truck slow up and roll down his window, I get asked for directions a lot when on my walks, but he just nodded and smiled. I smiled back and kept walking. He ended up coming back around and said something and I couldnít understand and he said ďIf I followed you home, would you keep me?Ē haha I was in so much shock that he was hitting on me that I just laughed and said sorry probably not! He was a good looking guy too! He made small talk and then the moment was gone. But it left a huge smile on my face, a spring in my step and a disbelief that it had actually happened. I went up to the conference room and read my book for a few minutes, and then took my audio file and took a 15 min nap. I woke up completely refreshed and the rest of my day has been incredibly smooth!

The one mark against today is that Mikeís father passed away. Yesterday he told me how bad his dad was doing and I felt I should ask if I could pray for him but I didnít know how he would take it and I didnít know what to pray since I know none of his family are believers so I held back. I wanted to bring up prayer throughout the day but I never felt comfortable enough. I came into work today determined to ask if I could pray for him and I didnít see his car and knew immediately that something was wrong. Heís taking the next few days off and I really wish I knew what I could do to help. He and his family were already in my prayers this morning and I will continue to pray for them. I want to call and give my condolences but I know right now he probably has so much going on. Iím just not sure what to do.

Well I have more to write about but not much time to do it. I'm gonna finish this post where it is and either write another one later tonight if I can find the time or just do it tomorrow.

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