My Observations

* Disclaimer *

These are my thoughts; though they may be public domain, please have enough respect and understand that they are mine and are not for the use of your own deviant agenda.

Monday, September 22, 2008

Take a picture of yourself right now.
Don't change your clothes. Don't fix your hair. Just take a picture.
Post that picture with no editing. (Except maybe to get the image size down to something reasonable. Don't go posting an eight megapixel image.)
Include these instructions.

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Sunday, September 14, 2008

It's Sunday and I really thought I was going to have a relaxing day ahead of me but I've been wrong. I've been on the go since this morning.

I was supposed to be at church at 9:15 and didn't get there till 9:45. I was in charge of the video overheads and Brandie was dedicating little Lexi and I of course took pictures of that! :) After church I planned on taking it easy but I had to get laundry done. Then my sister mentioned something about my nephews birthday party. There is a family one tomorrow but this was the one for him and his friends. I decided to go and take some pictures. It was kind of fun. :) It lasted a little longer then I expected so I decided to head home. On my way I got a call from my friend Leonard who I've been trying to meet up for dinner with him and his wife for the last couple of weeks. So they are taking me out for my birthday tonight.

The band is over so the house is quite loud. But I've cleaned up most of my room and have a pile of stuff to get through of all my AAP papers from the Vegas trip. Brandie is on her way over because Lexi left one of her favorite teething rings at church.

Brian also needs me to read through his paper. He's a bit nervous about it. He's struggled all weekend to focus enough to write it. He wants me to make sure its coherent.

Monday is Bailey's family birthday party. Wednesday I'm going to the Hollywood Bowl for a concert with Jimi. I'm looking forward to that.

So I'm gonna go stick my nose in a book for the hour and a half I have before I meet my friends for dinner...

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Monday, September 08, 2008

Fender Bender - So I got into an accident this morning. Luckily the damage was minimal and to my car only. I met Mike at Starbucks this morning and was backing out. There was a delivery truck in my way so I was being careful to not back into it. Sadly this girl was on the side I wasn't watching as carefully. I barely bumped her but she was a total bitch about it. I guess she honked but I wasn't able to hear her because of my music. And honestly it wasn't that loud! But I felt horrible. I looked and her car was perfectly fine. I saw a slight scratch on mine but she said she could feel something fold so she checked her entire front end. She was exasperated! It ended up that my bumper got pushed out of place. I was totally shaky. She wasn't very nice about it even when she realized I had the only damage. I pulled back into my spot and Mike checked it out. He knew it was something he could push back into place. Mike agreed the lady was a little oddly pissed off considering I had the damage. I felt a little better but honestly this was the first accident I had gotten into in YEARS (I got into one a year or so after I got my license but it was the other guys fault) and this was the ONLY one that was my fault! I think that's what made it so hard to let go. I knew I looked from all angles before backing up but I was so cautious about that delivery truck and the idea that I couldn't hear her honking really bothered me. So it took me a few hours to let it go.

Anyways there's a lot to share! So I will probably just give quick updates.

My Birthday - My birthday was pretty awesome! On the actual day I was so surprised at how many people made an effort to wish me Happy Birthday. :) I felt totally special! I went to work and after work went to my parents for a special birthday dinner.

Saturday, September 6th BootieLA- I went out to dinner at Red Robin with my sister and Andie. Rachel sadly couldn't make it because she was sick... I mean REALLY sick. I felt so bad. And I was bummed she wouldn't be apart of my birthday celebrations like she has been pretty much since we became friends in Jr High. After dinner we drove down to pick up Russ and made our way to Echoplex for BootieLA. Yet again I had an absolute blast! I love that event! I will be going again soon!

AAP Conference in Vegas September 8th - 11th - This was my first business trip and I was oddly nervous about it. But it was actually A LOT of fun! We got to Vegas at about 5pm and my friend Debbie met up with us and we went to dinner. After dinner Debbie and I decided to go hang out and catch up.

Tuesday I was able to sleep in a little since my first class didn't start till noon. I was one of the only people in my class taking the AAP test this year and so the teacher called on me a lot. I was happy to say I knew all but one question he directly asked me. After the class they had a reception dinner. It was interesting to be able to talk to people who have taken the test. I felt more comfortable. After the reception dinner I called Debbie to come meet up with me again and we just hung out at the hotel. We ended up hanging out at Toby Keith's bar in the hotel. It was pretty rowdy and they had a band playing country music, and normally I would say that wasn't my thing, but I was highly entertained by it all.

Wednesday was my long day in classes. It was a lot of information but I was able to talk to more people about the AAP test during our breaks and in one session we broke into discussion groups and at lunch one of the people in my discussion group said I seemed knowledgeable! lol that made me feel pretty good. :) And the end of the day I just wanted to get out of there. My brain was fried. I went to dinner with Jody and my friend Armando met me at the hotel at about 9 and we went out to bowling and then to Freemont Street. He kept asking if I'd done different Vegas things, most of them I hadn't. He was bummed we hadn't been able to hang out before that night but that's how it worked out.

Thursday I was able to sleep in a little because my teleseminar didn't start until 10am. I had to be packed before the teleseminar because as soon as it was over we had to check out. We left Vegas and stopped off at State Line to grab some lunch. I didn't get home till about 5pm. But was thankful for all the information I got and also for the opportunity to go!

Photoshoot - So my friend James came up with this cool idea for a photoshoot. It wasn't the first time I had heard of the concept and thought it was a great idea for a photoshoot. Basically it's been said if you take a fluorescent light and stick it in the ground under power lines it will light up. There are a few different factors that we knew by the article James read. So we decided to test it. We met out in the Oak Hills area and we stopped at a spot and stuck a fluorescent light into the ground and sure enough it started to glow! We decided to try another place that's a little further out that James remembered off the 395. It seemed brighter and we made the choice to set up a photoshoot, but there are a lot of technical things we need to work out so I'm not sure how soon this will be happening.

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Monday, September 01, 2008

I'm a little concerned about starting this post. Only because the time is so close to the time I wanted to be in bed. But as usual, my mind gets into writing mode in the later evenings as I contemplate my day, weekend or life. I've had a fantastic Labor Day weekend! Today has been especially lazy, I spent most of it reading! A rare treat! Even took my book outside and enjoyed the beautiful evening! I lost a few hours but it's something I thoroughly enjoy doing and don't get to often enough.

I'm a little annoyed with a chirping of a dying smoke detector battery and the ceilings are little too high for me to get on a chair and replace it easily. It might get unbearable here in a few.

So my birthday is this week. My license is about to expire so I have to get that taken care of. I hope my boss won't mind a late start on Wednesday as I'm figuring that's the best day to do it since my birthday is Thursday. And I plan on going to Barstow since it's so much easier to take care of out there then the Victorville DMV. My mom is making my favorite family dish, we've always called it Grout Brook but I don't know the spelling and when my friend James asked me for a link I couldn't find it anywhere! I know it's a German dish that has cabbage and beef baked inside a bread roll. It's yummy! But odd that I can't find it. I'm guessing either the name is wrong but no matter what combination I looked up in google it always brought me back to cabbage rolls which is not the same at all! Saturday a few of my friends are going to go to BootieLA with me. :) I'm looking forward to going again!

So I mentioned in my last post that I had another post pending. But right now I'm not really in the mood to go into it. So it'll have to wait, yet again.

I'm thrilled to be in my 30's! So far it's been an exhilarating experience and I keep looking forward to what’s going to happen next. I find that God is doing a work in me. It's been a while since I've shared personal feelings. Mostly it's just surface rants about my schedule and projects. Nothing about my innermost thoughts. I think there is a fear especially with my new readers, readers I'm not sure I can trust to hear my thoughts. Silly I know. I have this for the whole world to read, but when it comes to people I know I am not sure what I can feel free to share.

Either way, at church Sunday the message was very convicting to me. I think God's been working on me, and it was what I needed to hear at that moment. I'm not surprised, it happens quite often. But it's obvious that God's there, holding my hand and pulling me closer to Him. I've strayed so far away. I have so far to go to get back to where I even was, and even then so much further to go to get closer to God. But it's amazing the grace. The overwhelming forgiveness and acceptance and love of who I am right now! Something my dad said struck me as a new concept (for me anyways). We have our body, soul and spirit. Our spirit never sins. Our soul sins plenty. But when I feel unworthy to seek Gods presence sure, my soul is unworthy, but my spirit is sinless... I can go to Him and commune with Him. Another concept was grace and repentance. God's grace is abundant. He will accept us with open arms, even in the midst of our sin. We don't have to be out of our sin to go to Him. But true repentance is when we turn our back on the sin in our life. So, I have sin in my life. Not surprising I'm sure. Most of you know me. Most of you know I struggle to walk the good walk. I will say most of you don't know the true secrets deep within. The stuff I even try to hide from myself, and in turn think I'm hiding from God. Funny how we can think that we are actually hiding it from anyone, especially God. Sin is sin. There are levels of sin but does that matter? Can I truly make myself feel better by saying well at least I'm not doing that? That's then turning into judgment and honestly lately that's the biggest annoyance I have with Christians today. Placing judgment on others, why not pull that plank out first then you can see that speck more clearly, right? haha

I'm not upset, angry, disappointed or depressed about where I'm at. In fact I'm excited. I see the goal. I see a path. Something that seemed hidden from me, but I was so distracted with the lusts of the world that I couldn't see it. I recently ran into an old friend on myspace, in the process of looking at his profile and the people he had on his list... I envied his desire and drive for Christ. After all these years, he's still seeking God with all his heart. I don't meet too many men that are truly seeking God. It actually can be discouraging at times. It was a breath of fresh air and I realized I've fallen into that rut of walking a casual line in my walk with Christ. I've almost come to a stand still. I was looking at those men that make me feel I'm taking my Christian faith too seriously and thinking they might be right. I mean what’s so wrong with enjoying a little of the pleasures of life? (Sigh)... I was starting to take pride in the fact that I was a liberal Christian. Not as uptight about the rules. But the thing is, it's not about religiosity... It's about a genuine walk with Christ. That personal relationship. I get sidetracked.

Sunday before church I confessed a sin in my life. One that was impacting me on my way to church. I was ashamed, haunted by some of the thoughts creeping into my mind. I spoke it out loud, asked for forgiveness and the images disappeared, they weren't in the forefront of my mind anymore. Then I go into to church to find the sermon on grace and repentance and the difference. It was confirmed in my heart. I was forgiven. The question was, did I seek true repentance. Did I turn my back on my sin. Right now I'm not sure. I will say I feel different. I'm not going to say that the temptation won't pull me back in. But I no longer have to feel like I'm unworthy to seek God's help in the midst of my sin. I know most of this is a pretty standard "duh" but sometimes we need reminders.

Someone gave me a hard time about something I didn't think was that big of a deal. I got frustrated and defensive... Again pulling that liberal Christian card, and being angry that someone was being so uptight about my views and actions. I mentioned it to my brother and of all the people to convict me he said something that impacted me. He asked why I was so upset. He is the one that helped me realize that I was defensive more then justified. Whether I want to believe it or not, I was an example. He mentioned a few names of people that might have been impacted by my actions. And honestly I wasn't thinking about them. I was only thinking about the people that know me and don't look up to me. It was a hard pill to swallow but I did. My attitude changed. I can't keep acting like everyone else. God calls us to a different set of rules and guidelines. If I want to be part of that bride of Christ then I will go about my life differently then most people.

My dad recently went to Africa. He came back and as he told me the stories of his trip, my heart yearned to go back. Something about my trip to Africa changed me forever. They say you leave a part of your heart, and I believe I did. Hearing about Pastor Thomas and how amazing it is that my dad would have run into him in Kenya when he is from Lesotho and someone who made a big impact in my life on the trip I went to. I suddenly wished for a simpler life. Being in the United States we're spoiled. We worry about getting new bathroom fixtures and a better couch or even a cute outfit to go dancing in! When you have nothing it's easier to devote your life to Christ. To focus all your energy on His will for your life. Living moment by moment for Him. Having everything and wanting more is so much of a distraction. I long to go back to Africa. My heart wants to do good out there. Somehow, amazingly, God has established our little church out there. We've made an impact. And I'm excited to know that I was apart of it. And I want to continue to be apart. It looks like another trip is scheduled for 2010 and I'm signed up and praying that God opens the doors for me to go.

Some of this may not make sense. But I'm just pouring out my heart. There is a lot of little things I have only touched on. But like I said, I was afraid of starting this when I did since I need to get to sleep. I'm excited to see where God is taking me with all these little insights. There is so much more that I can be doing with my life then worrying about finances and an AAP exam (don't get me wrong I still plan on being frugal and studying my butt off but still).

Anyways, goodnight!

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