My Observations

* Disclaimer *

These are my thoughts; though they may be public domain, please have enough respect and understand that they are mine and are not for the use of your own deviant agenda.

Monday, August 30, 2004

Ooops! Forgot to post the most recent picture of my nephews in North Carolina... Aren't they sweet!?!

I've had a pretty good monday. My weekend was too short but working over the weekend usually has that affect. I got off of work and went up the hill. I totally spaced one of my youth kid's parties and went straight home and vegged.

Sunday I rededicated my life to Jesus. I have always done the right things, went to church, committed myself to activities and ministries, I've not felt like I'm going in the wrong direction, but that I'm just not going in *ANY* direction. So I made the decision to build my relationship with Christ. I want to *know* Him and not just know *of* Him. I want to be closer. I want to live my life for Him and not myself. It was a heart change. It felt good. It was humbling and humiliating if there's even a difference. God showed me the real me within 5 minutes time-frame and it was not a pretty site. I felt ashamed... unworthy. But in the end, my life is in a new direction. I have not changed drastically. But it's a mindset that has changed.

Well I've been scanning through some of my old pictures. There are a TON. Looking at my transformation to what I look like today. I wish I could change back to what I looked like a year ago with a snap of my fingers, but alas it is not that easy. Losing weight takes work. A LOT of work and patience. It took me a long time to gain the weight and well it will probably take twice as long to lose it. It's odd thinking back to when I was smaller and how I thought I was so fat and now I wish I could even just go back to that size and start from there. When I worked at Lane Bryant I felt the best. I was working out a lot and though I was just down to a size 14/16 I was really ok with what I looked like. I mean there were parts of my body that I didn't like but I was genuinely happy and felt content. Now I'm just miserable and wishing I could just literally cut off the fat. I wonder how I could have allowed it to get so bad. And now trying to get back on track ... geez... it feels overwhelming. And it's an obvious difference but to others I'm sure it's not that bad. But to me... well I see myself without clothes on. Eeek! hahaha :)

I've scanned through my archives and it's amazing to see all that's happened over the time I've started this blog. Some things feel like ages ago, others I'm surprised were that long ago... I'm feeling very nostalgic, reflective. I'm enjoying looking back to see where I've come. There is a lot that is good in my life. I am not at all frustrated with anything substantial. My weight has always been a problem but right now it's a bigger problem then it's ever been and that's all. It doesn't change my life too much. I wasn't happy about my life before Sunday. But it feels like a fresh start somehow. Like New Years Day but not. I am starting out new. I can change, it's not too late.

Well it may not be too late to change my life... But it's late and time for bed. ;)


CD/DVD Player: Depeche Mode "Violator"
Mood: Reflective
Link of the Day: Olympic Cartoon - I found this rather funny, probably more because my dad is the one that sent it to me. :)

Saturday, August 28, 2004

So I'm sitting here at work on a Saturday afternoon trying to stay motivated to be at work. I'm making up for my day off on Tuesday to go pick up my dad at the airport and I'm behind on cancellations... Oh joy.

Here are the most recent pics of my brothers family

Sierrah, Brenda, Shawn, Amber, Jackson and baby Gabriel

Gabriel at 8 weeks

So my schedule has gotten more hectic. Remember last post well there's more added.

August 25th thru 29th - My brother Brian is hoping to move to Oxnard and will need our help packing and stuff.
September 3rd - My aunt Darlene and cousin Joey and her little girl Madison are coming into town.
September 4th - My bday!
September 5th - My dad hopes to fly out to be with my grandparents in Minessota.
September 6th - We hope to take my aunt, cousin and her daughter to DisneyLand.
September 7th - Aunt and cousins go home
September 9th - My mom is to fly out to meet my dad in Minnesota.
September 18th - Parents return from Minnesota.

October 1st - Two men are coming from Africa to stay at our house for 3 weeks. One is a pastor and the other his interpreter.
October 25th - Men go back to Africa
October 26th - Drive parents to airport to fly out to North Carolina
October 30th - Fly out to North Carolina - just missing my dad heading back home.

November 8th - Come home from North Carolina

Then you have the standard end of the year rush of holidays...
November 25th - Thanksgiving

December 24th - Christmas Eve
December 25th - Christmas Day!
December 31st - New Years Eve!

January ? - Our host family when we went to Lesotho will be coming out !!!

My next few months are going to be a BLAST! It's gonna go by soooo fast but it'll be a whirlwind of fun!

I went online on Wednesday to find tickets for my trip I've been wanting to make to North Carolina by the end of the year. I found some for just under $200.00! I called my sister-in-law Brenda who said that was an awesome deal and to jump on it. I called my mom who was so excited about the prices she wanted me to get her tickets. Turns out Shawn and Brenda are going to a convention on Oct 26th and wanted my mom out earlier to watch the kids which my mom was excited to do. But I couldn't take that much time off of work. That's when we decided to let my mom get their early and I'd meet up with her. My dad wanted to go to the convention that Shawn and Brenda were going to so he wanted to go out with my mom but since he's traveling so much he couldn't miss any more sundays away from church. So he's coming back home the day I'm flying out to North Carolina. :) Talk about a fun night of trying to figure out ticket arrangements and making sure we all had the same flights! But I'm sooo excited! I can't wait! It's been a few years since I've been there and I miss them so much! My nieces and nephews are getting so big.

Well I gotta get back to my cancellations. Bye!

CD/DVD Player: LAUNCHcast
Mood: Rested
Link of the Day: My Fairytale - I was surfing the Disney website on my lunch break and ran across a fun game site. It's kind of like a madlibs but they offer your choices. I picked the oddest combinations and that is what came out.

If you want to make your very own Click Here. When you go there click on “games and activities” select “My enchanted Story”

Tuesday, August 24, 2004

Well my grandparents were in a car accident on Sunday night. Some teenagers didn't stop at a four-way stop and t-boned my grandparents car and pushed them into a light pole! They are still in the hospital and my grandma fractured her pelvic bone and is heavily sedated. My grandpa is doing worse! :( He is in Intensive Care! He got the brunt of the hit... He gashed his elbow, they said it was crushed. They did surgery on it but there are still some pieces that wouldn't come out so they can't close the wound until it drains out. ewwww... And he has a pretty large cut on his head from his ear to the top of his head. And he may have broken some more bones. He bit his tongue almost all the way through and it is so swollen that he can't get any air in so they had to put him on a breathing machine (can't think of the name). But either way I'm pretty shook up. It was my dads parents and well we didn't want to tell him over the phone so we had to wait till we picked him up today. I took the day off of work to go with my mom and pick my dad and brother up from LAX. My mom is not familiar with that airport and didn't feel comfortable going alone. So once he got in the car we had to present the news. He was pretty shook up. He said the joy of being home was somehow taken away and that all his peace left. We prayed and we tried not to talk about it till he could get home and make some calls.

After getting home he called everyone to get the story and find out what was being taken care of and what not and it was pretty much decided that he needed to get there. His sister is going out now and so that they can cover more time he will wait till she has to go home and then go out for two weeks and then his other sister will take over for another couple weeks. My mom will meet him later and spend a little over a week there. So far the news from the hospital is that my grandparents are stable but my dad was anxious to talk to their actual doctor and confirm whether or not he needed to push to get there sooner. So far no update on that. I'm anxious for them. Them = parents, grandparents etc. I just wish we didn't live so far away. I talked to my grandma on the phone on the way to the airport and she seemed in good spirits but she also sounded pretty drugged up too.

So the next couple weeks are going to be pretty hectic.

August 25th thru 29th - My brother Brian is hoping to move to Oxnard and will need our help packing and stuff.

September 3rd - My aunt Darlene and cousin Joey and her little girl Madison are coming into town.
September 4th - My bday!
September 5th - My dad hopes to fly out to be with my grandparents in Minessota.
September 6th - We hope to take my aunt, cousin and her daughter to DisneyLand.
September 7th - Aunt and cousins go home
September 9th - My mom is to fly out to meet my dad in Minnesota.
September 18th - Parents return from Minnesota.

October 1st - Two men are coming from Africa to stay at our house for 3 weeks. One is a pastor and the other his interpreter.

Goodness! I love chaos but this is gonna be a bumpy ride! :) I have been praying for my grandparents. I know my dad wishes he could get out there now. But they believe it would be more beneficial to spread out the family visits to help out for a longer period. I have always thought of my grandparents on the Ring side to be strong and healthy and I know this is going to take a long recovery. I'm hoping that the hospital is expressing the truth when they say they are stabalized and it's just a matter of healing now. My grandpa has always encouraged me to write. He and I have always kept close through letters, even though I haven't been able to get out there. And the worst part is that I've been thinking more and more that I want to get out there soon. When I thought about heading to my brothers house in North Carolina I thought that my next trip needed to be to visit them. The last time I was able to get out there was when I was 14! I'm almost 27! that's insane! I mean they've come out here but I need to get out there. They are older and it's harder to travel. I just hope that they heal quickly from this accident and that it doesn't leave long term effects.

It's good to have my dad and brother home. I'll pick a couple pictures out and post them in the next week sometime. It's getting late and I have had a LONG day.


CD/DVD Player: Nothing
Mood: Drained
Link of the Day: Mission Outfitters International - My brothers Non-profit Company.

Sunday, August 22, 2004

I finally took the time to get the pictures from the last few weeks up on a page. It would take me too long to create the html in my blog so I generated the pages and will add links to them.

Starting with my PartyLite candle party on August 5th, 2004.
Click Here

Also my sister-in-law sent pictures on August 12th, 2004...
Relaxing in the pool at the hotel in North Carolina when they went to look for houses.

Gabriel's first picture smiling. :)

Their North Carolina house which I will be visiting in the next couple months.

On August 13th, 2004 I took pictures for Tim and Annette's Rehersal and dinner that followed.
Click Here

On August 14th, 2004 I went to Tim and Annette's wedding.
Click Here

And now that I've completed a task I had hoped to complete by the end of the weekend I feel very good. This has been a busy week. I'm grateful that my brother is coming home soon. I so desperately want to work soley for drivenIT but I know that it's all in God's timing. I can see how much God is working in my life. I was told Thursday that I would be working part-time in sales. At first the news was rather frustrating because I was not sure why I was being put in two different positions. I was concerned that it was a lack in my work that caused it. I spoke with Steve who was rather surprised that I would consider it a step in the wrong direction. He felt it would be a positive move. He made it clear that he was satisfied with my work and believes strongly in me being a positive addition to the sales department. I believe God did this to teach me sales. If I'm going to ever work for drivenIT I was told I would need to help in sales, if potential customers called in I would basically act as a sales representative being that I would be their first contact. It took a couple hours to realize that this wasn't a step in the wrong direction.

I'm also excited with what I am doing for the morale for the company. I'm excited about the reward and recognition programs I have that are soon to be put in place. I enjoy work a lot more lately. Especially from a few weeks ago. Things are definitely looking brighter, or my outlook is brighter, either way I'm happier.

So this weekend I have accomplished a lot. I ordered my new glasses which will be here in about a week or so. I have done most of the billing needed for drivenIT. I went shopping with my mom and bought a pair of jeans and I am excited to say I went a size down! :D YAY! That feels great! I tried that same size on back in July and couldn't even button them! It was just an aweome feeling. The rest of the night I just watched movies with my mom. Today was church and afterwards I just took it easy and continued to hang out with my mom. :) I had a rough time earlier tonight just being frustrated with my lack of energy and time to get things done. But this was before I completed posting pictures which was on my list to complete by the end of this weekend. :) And I've been listening to christian music which always helps.

But it's getting late and I should be heading to bed. Good night!

CD/DVD Player: Jeremy Camp "Carried Me"
Mood: Satisfied
Link of the Day: Red Loft Studios - The photography team that took awesome pictures at Tim and Annette's wedding.

Sunday, August 15, 2004

Here it is only 5 days from my last post and I feel like it's been ages! I had the most wonderful weekend! It's been busy but for sure it's been worth it! Right now I'm finalizing my pictures of Tim and Annette's wedding! It was the best wedding I'd been to in a long, long time! I don't even know where to begin!?

Ok lets see the last time I posted was... Monday. Wow.. the beginning of my week without my supervisor and the week where I had to do some of her job while she was away along with mine. Luckily the rest of the week went MUCH smoother then the first day! Tuesday after work I rushed back up the hill for youthgroup which was thankfully just a game night and I was able to relax. Wednesday I closed my candle party and headed home by about 6pm. Thursday I went home to spend time with my mom and ended up being busy with stuff for my brothers business DrivenIT.

Friday I got off of work and Sam and I met Tim, Annette and their wedding party at the rehersal and took some pictures there. I felt odd being introduced with the rest of their friends and family. I am their friend but not close enough to be introduced with their wedding party. Afterwards we met them at their rehersal dinner. Again feeling out of place I just kept myself busy with the reason I was invited in the first place. To make sure to get shots of the family hanging out and having a good time. Tim knows I'm an amature photographer and love taking photos, and he likes my work, so this was the main reason I was invited along. I had a good time testing out new food, it was chinese cuisine, and to my surprise VERY good! The only chinese food I've ever had was Panda Express, and though it's good, it's basically fast food chinese style. :) hehe After that Sam took me home and I crashed by 12am.

Saturday I woke up at 8am and got everything done before we had to leave for the wedding. We got to Malibu sooner then expected but I was grateful for the time to have fun with the camera! The scenery was gorgeous! The wedding was at Stauffer Chapel at Pepperdine University! Looking past the gorgeous chapel you saw the ocean view that was breathtaking with all the beautiful flowers! I had a blast turning in every direction to get pictures! The wedding started shortly after 4pm and was short and sweet and we made our way to Duke's Malibu for the reception. We had our tables assigned and everyone at linkLINE was at one table. We ended up being table #9 and I somehow remember that being the pathetic table in the movie "The Wedding Singer" but I could be wrong. Nevertheless I still asked Tim who said it wasn't intentional. Later I found that I could not have been placed at a better table. I was right next to the photography team and got to see all their shots from the day. And it made me want to do photography for a living so badly! They were awesome and had very imaginative ideas! I like abstract and a lot of their shots were! Very artistic! Needless to say I pretty much had my head turned to look at them most of the time. And what was even more cool was they had it set to a slideshow and set it up for people to glance at the photos of the day. It was a very good team! They did their engagement photos as well, Red Loft Studios if I'm not mistaken. Pricey but worth the money that's for sure!

So the reception went on. The group of us went on the patio and watched the surf. It was pretty amazing that we were up against the ocean. It was an incredible view. I was having so much fun. I really got along with Nancy (Carlos' wife) who happened to be a clubber like myself back in the day. Every song that came on we both were kind of bopping to. Finally we couldn't handle it anymore and went out there and danced! It was so much fun! I haven't been dancing for a LONG time and felt very comfortable. I was a little conscious of the people from work looking at me but I didn't care. I know I can't dance but it was still a blast! I even got Sam to get out and dance a slow one with me. I was very glad he did! It meant a lot to me. Finally we were all tired and ready to head home. It was bout 9:30pm! I said my goodbyes and congratulations to Tim and Annette for their marriage and the success of a truly fun wedding! And even asked Annette if I could take one of the centerpieces, which happened to be a beautiful Orchid! She told me she was actually on her way to find me and tell me to take one. YAY! It's beautiful! On the way back to the office to get my car I checked through my photos of the weekend and was pretty satisfied with what I took. Though as I got out of Sam's car I realized that dancing works a new set of muscles! hehe

Oh and Friday I was anxious to weigh myself and find out if I had lost any weight. I had been feeling really good about my week and it turned out I lost 5 pounds! woohoo! So all-in-all this has been a great weekend. Today I'm hangin out with my mom and we're going to pick my sister up and go see Princess Diaries 2. I'm looking forward to it. I'm gonna have to end this and get my mom up so we can go pick up my sister. I'll leave you with this...

CD/DVD Player: nothing
Mood: Excited to post pictures!
Link of the Day: Tim and Annette's Wedding Site

Monday, August 09, 2004

I'm sitting here at work breathing a HUGE SIGH of relief! The day is almost over! It's been a hectic day! It's the first day of my supervisor's vacation and lets just say nothing went right! I have been in a panic mode all day and now that I've finally completed everything I'm sitting here finally allowing my heart to settle down from my nerves being shot.

So I can't say much right now, I've got a lot on my mind that I want to share but will hopefully get more time later tonight to do so. I just had to get that out really quick and know that today is almost over and I only have 4 more to go! :)

CD/DVD Player: nothing no time to put anything on :(
Mood: Relieved
Link of the Day: Ok I need to apologize for those of you who saw this link. I had only seen a couple clippings from this site and hadn't delved into it further. It's extremely horrific and I am taking it off my links.

Wednesday, August 04, 2004

Well I'm on my lunch break. I can't believe the week already half over! This has been a good week! Especially if I'm not counting the hours to Friday. ;) And it's even payday Friday!

It's my brother's bday today! Happy Birthday Bro! He found a place in Oxnard that is an apartment that will take a large dog. It's only a 10 min drive from the beach! Lucky dog, and that could mean both of them. ;) So when he gets back from Africa I'll be helping him move.

So Tuesday morning my alarm didn't wake me up... I had been so worried about sleeping through my alarm again that I didn't sleep very soundly and woke up 3 minutes before my alarm actually went off! I got to the gym only to find that my sister didn't make it! I called her when I was home from the gym and she had turned off her alarm and fell back to sleep! hahaha I couldn't help but be relieved that she had left me hanging too and it was even and I wasn't the only flake... hehe

Tuesday was a much more productive mellow day. I was busy but nothing terrible happened. Actually I talked to Steve about the morale/motivational things I'd like to do for the office and got more and more excited and when I told him he was all excited and told me to go for it! And then I asked about a celebration luncheon for the opening of the LA office, and then he suggested an open house for the new location and inviting all our customers and then told me to head it up! Eeek! So I'm gonna work with Rita about setting up something nice. I just need a budget and we'll play with it.

Youthgroup was good. We talked to the family that is coming back to the church and they are all excited about coming back. I practically cried when she was explaining how she just missed the people from the church.

Today has been a fairly fast paced day. Though I haven't accomplished everything that I would have liked to. My desk is finally becoming more and more visable as I get rid of all the stacks of paperwork that I needed to sort. I also took my flowers and decided to dry them. They were dying so I didn't want to take a picture of them like that. So they are hanging from the ceiling now. :) Tonight I'm gonna bake cookies for the PartyLite party, and of course I still owe Fernando cookies so I told him to stop by tomorrow and I'd have a plate of them for him.

Well I should get back to work. My break isn't over but I think I'm going to clock back in early. I want to clear my desk a little more. hehe

Have a good day!

CD/DVD Player: Coldplay/ Live 2003 on Launchcast Radio
Mood: Happy that the week is going by fast
Link of the Day: PartyLite

Monday, August 02, 2004

Another productive day! So this weekend was insanely busy. Turns out I wasn't going to LAX this weekend but next to take Doug and Sasha to the airport. So Friday night was a relaxing evening.

Saturday I ran some errands in the morning, I met at Sam's place by 2pm to get to my managers wedding/anniversary where she renewed her vows for her 25th anniversary. That was nice. I still liked what we did for my parents 25th anniversary just as much if not more. We had a great party for them. Anyways after that we went to Doug and Sasha's for dinner. We watched Iron Chef which was a really interesting program to watch. It's the oriental version and I found the food they made facinating! We went to A&W's afterwards and then headed our seperate ways. Sam and I went to Walmart to get boxes for my gifts from Africa that I designated a deadline of Monday. I got those with much discussion of never going back to Walmart unless we absolutely had to.

Sunday I went to church. It was neat because a bunch of people were there and the church was packed! We had to add a row and even some people were left standing! And a family that decided to leave the church a while ago because of an offense decided to come back! It made my day! They are an awesome family and I noticed their absense! Then we took an offering for my dad and brother's trip to Africa next week and we prayed over it and it was a little over $2,000! For our small church that was a HUGE offering! It was a true blessing from God! And could even be considered a miracle! God is so good. I left church on a high. It was an amazing sunday. Once I got home I started working on my brothers pics of Mount Rainier. He didn't make it to the top but we superimposed his body at the top of the mountain. We got a good laugh out of it. :) I packed all my gifts while watching two movies! It took me that long! I finally finished everything! My thank-you letter, individual thank-you cards, my pics, and the gifts all packed up and ready to send! That felt like a huge weight lifted off my shoulders! It's taken me WAY too long.

This morning I was supposed to meet my sister at the gym, and somehow my alarm was set to 'set' instead of 'alarm' and never went off! My mom woke me up at 6:30 asking why I was still in bed! I freaked! I was even late for my normal wakeup time if I didn't get to the gym! I called my sister and apologized and she just laughed and said she figured something came up. I rushed to get ready for work and as I was doing so realized that a *very* important report that I was supposed to print up Saturday I didn't do! I worried about that till about 7am when I could call someone in tech support and walk them through it. I was driving to work when I realized that I forgot to clock out on Friday and that I forgot my time card! I mean what a morning!?! The whole time I was actually laughing about the whole thing. Honestly! It was almost surprising that I wasn't freaking out as much as I could have. :) I get to work and took the reprimand of not getting the report printed, though that was rather mellow compared to what I did to myself. hehe And then it turns out our program stopped working on Saturday so my report was correct! And now we had a bigger problem of finding out why the program wasn't reporting from August 1st. So that was my morning and my day finally mellowed out. I got home tonight, ate and went to clean my room since I'm having a candle party Thursday and this is the only day I can do it.


That was a mouthful! ;) And well it looks like it's going to be a busy week for me. :)

Tuesday - youthgroup
Wednesday - make whatever I'm going to for a snack for the candle party
Thursday - PartyLite Party
Friday - Drive to LAX (take Doug and Sasha to airport)
Saturday - BBQ in Apple Valley at noon, and bday party for my brother Brian that night.
Sunday - church, drive to LAX (take my dad and brother to airport)

So it's getting that time. I need to head to bed and hopefully my alarm will actually wake me up tomorrow and I can meet my sister at the gym. :)


CD/DVD Player: About A Boy
Mood: Excited
Link of the Day: Brother's Pics of Mount Rainier