My Observations

* Disclaimer *

These are my thoughts; though they may be public domain, please have enough respect and understand that they are mine and are not for the use of your own deviant agenda.

Saturday, September 25, 2004

I have been doing A LOT of thinking about my life. It's almost as though God has opened my eyes to a glimpse of where my life is and where it's heading to and it has brought up a DEFINITE amount of re-evaluating. Things that I thought I was ok with in my life I am now questioning. It's like I realize a new chapter in my life is beginning. I'm a little nervous but excited at the same time, but am very ready for the change.

One surprising twist of thought is lately I've been thinking a lot about studying the bible. Not just reading it but getting into the nitty-gritty and just going for it! The idea is intriguing to me and I'm not sure why. I just started a bible college class this last Wednesday but my feelings have changed before then. I have thought since then that maybe I would like to actually go to a bible college and get a degree. This seems so different than my usual thoughts on the subject that I feel itís genuinely a call from God.

I also know someday I will be able to quit linkLINE and work for my brother full time. Though I wish that could happen tomorrow something tells me it will be a while, but possibly in the next year.

Friday I went to Magic Mountain for their Hallelujah Jubilee and I miss the concerts. I don't want to be a groupie or anything. I just want to enjoy the live shows and as many of them as possible.

I realize that my involvement in the youth may change as well. I still feel strongly about being involved in the teens lives and being their support, a listening ear and someone to offer godly advise without being a hypocrite! I also still feel strongly about working/volunteering at a youth center.

I know for me to do this my schedule would have to change dramatically. But if I started working for my brother I could go back to school no problem. I still have to pay off debt so I am steadily getting there. In mid-November I will have my car paid off which will be a great relief and Iíll take that money each month to pay off my credit card debt in hopefully a year.

A lot of my friends are married and having babies. People ask why Iím not married or having kids yet. Of course 27 years old is not old but Iím not getting any younger. Iíd like to get married and start a family, though right now the prospect of getting married just doesnít seem to be happening. I want to marry a man that is wholly serving God heart, soul and mind. I wish so desperately that God would help that man or that I would find the one that will help me put God first above all others. That I could communicate my thoughts and views and he would share deeply with me as well. I donít want to have to dig for answers for his thoughts. I pray that whether or not that man is in my life that God would prepare his heart.

I just visualize myself in a completely different world in about a year. I want solitude. I want to be alone. I want to search out and experience new adventures and get back into old ones. I know that sounds like a contradiction from the paragraph before but I would rather be alone and seek out new things and learn and then come together with someone in the end of this chapter and live happily ever after. Hehe But God knows the time and place for everything and it seems that he is preparing my heart for a new chapter. Iíve only scanned through a couple sentences and havenít been able to make out the basis of the chapter Ö Yet. But I will.

Well Iím tired and going to crash. Sleep Well - ďSleep well and must I to kill you in the morningĒ The Princess Bride.


CD/DVD Player: nothing - my niece Megan is sleeping next to my bed... Shhhh!
Mood: Definitely deep in thought
Link of the Day: Concept Art - go to the forums, they have awesome daily or timed challenges.

Monday, September 20, 2004

Isn't it funny how one thought will lead to another and leave you smiling? Well I was chatting with my sister-in-law Brenda about how I'm anxious to get out there. I'm not thrilled with having them see how much I've changed and how I've gained weight. I started to think about how I went to Alaska for a visit back in 2000 and how I had been in fairly good shape though I would say I look better now because of how I dress, do my hair and makeup etc. Then I thought about how when I was in Alaska I went to breakfast with a girl that used to be somewhat dorky in school and how I thought she had grown up to be a rather cool chick, dating a band member and managing bands and working at a coffee shop for the church I used to go when I lived in Alaska. Then I thought of how surprising it was that she married that band guy and how as a kid I would have NEVER thought she would have become who she was. I remember talking with the guy I had a crush on for all my elementary school years, and how he had a tattoo on his arm and explained to him that I was dating a guy who had full sleeves and the shock that he showed in finding that out about me. I thought of how weird it must have seemed to people who knew me to find out that I dated someone with full sleeve tattoos, peircings and a shaved head. And that thought made me laugh because I can't imagine myself now dating someone like that. Not because of my ex but just if I saw someone that looked like that I just don't see myself dating them. And well I found it amusing enough to share. It's strange how as our lives change our tastes and outlooks and views all change. I guess that's what they call maturity. ;) hehe

Well I've gotta get back to work.

CD/DVD Player: LAUNCHcast Radio
Mood: reflective
Link of the Day: The StarWars Trilogy is coming out on DVD!

Sunday, September 19, 2004

It's 10 minutes before my bed time and I am just now finished getting my pictures of Labor Day weekend completely ready to post! I already have two more events that I've taken pictures for that need to be posted as well. 1. Trip to Santa Monica Pier. 2. Bailey's 7th birthday party.

So here they are...

9.4.04 - My birthday (24 images) We went shopping at Lane Bryant and hung out and had a few laughs.

9.5.04 - Sunday (5 images) The family just hanging out. Heidi making dinner for us.

9.6.04 - Disneyland Labor Day (42 images) My Aunt and cousins had never been to Disneyland! So of course we HAD to go. It was mainly for the kids so we spent a majority of our time just doing the kiddy things. It was still a lot of fun!

My guess is that I will have the other pictures ready to post in another couple weeks. ;) Well it's about that time. I'll try to be better about updating.


CD/DVD Player: "Someone Like You"
Mood: Expectant
Link of the Day: PopCap Games I'm addicted to InsanaQuarium!

Saturday, September 11, 2004

I have all my pictures from my birthday weekend all cleaned up I just have to make thumbnails and post them! I'm not sure if that's going to happen tonight though. I have a long day ahead of me tomorrow. The youthgroup is going to the Santa Monica Pier and Prominade after church. I love the Prominade! It should be fun. Since I had to work today I think my weekend will feel cut short. Oh well.

I'm feeling kind of blah at the moment. I'm zoning and don't really want to do anything. I'm not even motivated to get my pictures posted. :-\ Well I will do my best. Just thought I'd catch up on my writing.

CD/DVD Player: "What a Girl Wants" hmmm Colin Firth ;)
Mood: Blah
Link of the Day: Santa Monica Pier

Friday, September 10, 2004

Guess who's my inner sexy cartoon chick? HAHAHAHAHA

You're Betty Boop!
Bettie Boop

Who 's Your Inner Sexy Cartoon Chick ?
brought to you by Quizilla

Today I'm struggling with compassion for people who can't handle the same stress that I deal with on a daily basis. The Bible says that we don't know each others troubles or trials. So it's not fair for me to be so insensitive. I know that I have my limitations as well. Why is it that I can't overlook their limitations and appreciate that their stress can be just different then my own? I look at them and think they must me lazy. I have a demanding schedule and yet I don't whine about it all the time. I don't get the opportunity to do what I want every time I want to do it. I have responsibilities. I guess it's frustrating when others don't like taking on theirs. But isn't that what being a grownup is all about? I know if I were to think about my limitations in comparison I would feel foolish for thinking this way. But I just needed to voice my frustration and go about my day.

CD/DVD Player: Depeche Mode "The Singles 86>98"
Mood: Unsympathetic
Link of the Day: Zip Code - Enter your zip code slowly. Sam sent this to me. It's pretty cool.

Saturday, September 04, 2004

At this moment 27 years ago I was born! Happy Birthday to me!

Thursday, September 02, 2004

It's Thursday night and the day before everything starts. :) All week every day I've thought it was Friday. I finally came to the conclusion that I'm so excited for Friday to be here that I've just made every day Friday. When I've left work I've had to keep myself from saying "Have a great weekend! I'll see you on Tuesday!" hehe So if any of you have been reading this you know what is happening this weekend! :-D So what exactly starts tomorrow... well lets see here... We have payday! Gotta love payday! It's the end of the work week and the beginning of a 3 day weekend! Gotta love 3 day weekends! And you gotta totally love a 3 day weekend that happens to fall on your birthday! It's the day my aunt and cousin fly in from Montana! I mean what could make a better reason to LOVE the fact that tonight is the eve of all that!!?!

Work has been hectic. For myself it's been a crazy kind of chaos that I thrive on... But for others, it's been a week where they've longed for the 3 day weekend to take them away from all the crap they have to deal with. I've started doing billing for drivenIT. :) So far all that entails is having Quickbooks installed and a nice new printer all to myself! :D I've always had to use someone else's and not that this is mine but I can use it for my stuff too.

So since my moms little sister is coming out she of course had to spring clean the entire house and I was her tall helpmate! Everything above eye level I had to reach, wipe, spray, straighten... and all that stuff. It's helped me get focused on my room. But I've run out of time and had to pile things away. Oh well I guess my spring cleaning will come when I move into my office. :)

Well I have to go give my mom a french manicure. Goodnight and I will post when I can. I'll be taking loads of pictures this weekend so I'm sure that'll be delayed but I'll post as soon as I can.

CD/DVD Player: The Princess Bride
Mood: Excited/Happy
Link of the Day: The Mopmonster - My online friend who I've never met in person and can not talk to for weeks on end and still enjoy a great conversation when we do.